Lifestyle LIVE! was a huge hit … beyond my wildest dreams, even!
I’m bone tired from giving my all and have been focusing on exquisite self-care to rejuvenate. But I’m also SO in love with the amazing people who make up this brilliant community! I LOVE that I got to meet so many of you, and look you in the eyes. I cannot stop thinking of you all!
We spent three days in Atlanta, and the coaches who attended learned exactly what they needed to know to truly love up their businesses THIS YEAR.
Throughout the event, as I was teaching content, I found myself thinking, “Ya know, that content would be really helpful to refer back to later.”
So, I’ve decided to drop some of the juiciest bits here, for YOU!
Below, you’ll find a quick explanation of each session, and you can watch the clip from each segment for deeper learning.
Lifestyle LIVE! Backstage: Are You a Perfect Portia?
During Lifestyle LIVE! I talked about how, while 10 percent of our business success is dependent on strategy, and 10 percent is dependent on connectedness and community, MOST of our business success—a full 80 percent—is a result of our mindset.
One of the Villains that often creeps in and gets the best of us as entrepreneurs is Perfect Portia.
She may sound something like this: “That lead magnet isn’t quite right. If I could just tweak it one more time, make it just a little bit better, it will be ready. THEN I can get it out there.”
She tells you nothing’s good enough, nothing’s ready—and she stops you from getting yourself out there.
Lifestyle LIVE!: If You Don’t Know This, You’re Leaking Success
There is one marketing concept I just can’t emphasize enough: Pain Island and Pleasure Island. If you don’t know it, you’re leaking success (note: most people ignore this, because they think “Oh, I’ve already seen that”).
When you’re talking about marketing, there’s one word that comes up a lot: niche.
So what IS a niche? Put simply, it’s a group of people who face similar challenges and want similar results. They’re living on Pain Island, with their challenges, and they want to get to Pleasure Island, where they finally experience the results they want. And your coaching is the boat that gets them from Pain Island to Pleasure Island. If you’re not getting the clients you want or generating the revenue you desire, this is the first place I’d look at in your business, if we were coaching privately together.
Lifestyle LIVE!: THIS Is the True Definition of Marketing
As coaches, we have a unique opportunity when it comes to marketing. It’s an advantage: we bring the skills of coaching to the table. By being ourselves, by being curious and creating a connection, we’re opening the space for other people to live their greatest lives.
In this video, I share my favorite quote by Marianne Williamson—and I think it outlines perfectly the reason marketing should feel natural for coaches.
Did you know that if you’re not assuming your prospect will say, “Yes,” at the end of an enrollment conversation, you may be unconsciously digging in your heels as you approach decision time? (We heard from several Lifestyle LIVE attendees that they were guilty of this and didn’t even realize it until they went through this session with me!)
That’s why I always recommend that you “Assume the yes.”
Be prepared, mentally and behind the scenes, for your prospect to take you up on your offer to work together and the flow—all the way to setting up the contract and client agreement—will feel effortless!
Lifestyle LIVE! was a blast, and I know the coaches who attended walked away with so much deep, useful information—and with their business plans mapped out. These are some of my favorite sessions, and I hope you love them too!
“Must keep moving one step at a time ! [In Bootcamp], I gained clarity on my Niche and now I have a website I am feeling great about.”
Presenting Bootcamp STAR Graduate – Kelly Heithold, Wellbeing Connexions
Kelly is one of our Top 11 students in this past session—the “cum laude” of the bunch who launched her businesses with our support and who is now thriving!
Kelly offers wellbeing coaching that helps stressed out professionals reduce stress, get healthy and have more energy to enjoy their lives.
“Hello? hello? …I think we lost our connection”
Every day we connect with our phone, our internet, our technology. And it can be very upsetting and create chaos in our day when we lose these connections.
But have you lost your most important connections? Do you feel connected within yourself – body, mind and spirit? Do you feel connected to the people and things that matter most to you?
Research has shown that people are healthier and live longer when they feel connected. This connection may be to people, to pets, to meaning and purpose in life or even to nature.
Yet many of our lives are so busy and harried that we don’t have time to connect with what is most important to us and to what makes us feel alive. In fact, sometimes we have even forgotten what IS most important to us and what does make us come alive!
Every day I talk to people who just want to feel better.
They tell me, “I want to lose weight, look better in my clothes, control my stress, sleep better, have more energy, or be healthier so I can be around for my kids and grandkids.”
The bottom line is we all want to look good, feel good and have energy to enjoy our life to the fullest.
The reality is that our world is filled with long commutes, long work hours, pressure to perform and deliver at work, easy access to junk food, automated everything, and a bombardment from technology.
It’s a balancing act to take care of those we love, do a good job at work and try to take care of ourselves. Too many times we are the last on our “to do” list. Believe me, I’ve been there, done that.
I created Wellbeing Connexions to help people make the connections to what it is they need to do to reduce stress, feel healthier and have more energy.
And making successful connections in order to change is not always easy. But if nothing changes…nothing changes. Every journey, every change starts with the one small step.
So I ask you, “What is the smallest thing you can do that will make the biggest difference in your life right now?”
Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? …Can you hear yourself? Are you listening now?
Check out stress reduction, health and wellbeing coaching with Kelly Heithold atwww.wellbeingconnexions.com
KellyHeithold has a MSE degree in Exercise Science and Education and is a Professional Certified Health and Wellness Coach through Wellcoaches® School of Coaching. She has taught kindergarten through college level, worked in public health, and managed worksite wellbeing programs for fortune 500 companies. Additionally she has been a health and lifestyle coach for a health management company, coaching individuals at all levels in over a dozen companies and organizations. Find out more about Kelly.
“I could NOT have done this without the Bootcamp and Support Team’s help! They’re the best!”
Presenting Bootcamp STAR Graduate – Marilla Arguelles, NewTake Films
Marilla is one of our Top 11 students in this past session—the “cum laude” of the bunch who launched her businesses with our support and who is now thriving!
Marilla offers coaching to public school teachers who want more for their underachieving, underfunded students.
Redesigning Schools (And Jobs)
Pt. 1 of a blog for teachers who are searching for practical ways to incorporate moral and philosophical concerns into modern education.
More and more commentators today, along with the parents of most students, seem to agree that the primary goal of education is preparing students for the workforce. (Hopefully well-paying jobs that offers security and gratification?)
Yet according to the U.S. Dept. of Labor “Today’s average college graduate will have at least 3 – 5 career changes in their lifetime, and 10 – 14 job changes by age 38.”
Generation Opportunity, a conservative nonprofit advocate for millennials, releases a monthly “Millennial Jobs Report” that slices official labor data and tracks unemployment rates for younger workers. From January, 2015 to May, 2016 the percentage of 18 – 29-year-olds decreased slightly from 15.4 to 13.8 percent, still way above the official national jobless rate of 5.4 percent.
So it’s likely that some, if not most, of these unemployed are the same young people protesting the enormous debt they’ve incurred on higher education.
They’re not just temporarily in debt. The Digital Revolution has massively increased job insecurity.
Over the next two decades 50 % – 80% of jobs will be loss to globalization due to increased use of computers and robots.
Pretty shocking, even if you’re someone who believes the goal of education is not job preparation. Someone who believes the goal is the ability to make important choices about our leaders, our economy, resources, and moral issues. Wait a minute, “moral issues”??!!!?? we’re not going to open that bucket of worms, are we?
Well, yes, but not in the popular sense of the term. Who’s questioning the morality of our food supply and distribution, or skyrocketing profits in pharmaceuticals, real estate, and arms sales?
Will Allen is. He’s the former star basketball player turned Urban Farmer who was featured on the PBS Newshour, 2/1/16 and also on the PBS TV series Road Trip Nation on 2/1/2017. Will is the son of sharecroppers who never dreamed he’d go back to farming until he realized that he could create a thriving urban business/job training program in Milwaukee. He’s a genius at providing meaningful education and job training to disempowered youths through community based service learning, not shutting them up in classrooms.
Will founded Growing Power, is a national nonprofit organization and land trust that helps provide equal access to healthy, high-quality, safe, affordable food.
I was particularly struck by the depth and breadth of true education that Growing Power’s Youth Corps provides through its year-round, youth leadership program of very sophisticated, cutting-edge agriculture demonstrations:
building and maintaining aquaponic systems,
soil remediation through raised beds,
hoop house construction,
the operation of Growing Power’s retail store.
Peter Drucker, the “founder of modern management” and recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, predicted that universities won’t survive. “The Future is outside the traditional campus, outside the traditional classroom.”
Sounds like a good thing. In our next blog we’ll take a look at how two well-established, highly respected schools that provide such nontraditional courses, including tractor driving! One is a prestigious private school for teens in New England, whose boarders pay $55,000/year. The other is a rural Southern College that’s listed on Kiplinger’s Personal Finance’s list of the Top 300 Best College Values of 2017. None of the students pay tuition.
I look forward to sharing them with you and hearing your thoughts about these alternatives. Send them to firstname.lastname@example.org, or to me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/marilla-arguelles-6b238aa/
Marilla Argüelles is the founder of NewTakeFilms, andhelps teachers reform and promote public education. As a teacher, artist, and activist, she’s had a full but challenging life, learning a lot (good and bad) about education, the current medical profession, and nonprofit management. Having navigated uncharted waters for most of her projects she knows firsthand how exhausted and isolated teachers can feel, especially when they’re overwhelmed by a lack of resources, and administrators who prioritize test scores over student satisfaction, involvement, and achievement. Learn more about Marilla.
After learning about packages & pricing, she raised her prices and clients are now paying in full!
Presenting Bootcamp STAR Graduate – Rev. Dr. Patricia Keel, Spirit Matters Coaching
Patricia is one of our Top 11 students in this past session—the “cum laude” of the bunch who launched her businesses with our support and who is now thriving!
Rev. Dr. Keel offers transformational life coaching, spiritual coaching.
3 Wisdom Tidbits from a 70 Year old Rock Star
I turned 70 last week and now I am a Bootcamp Rock Star! How great is that? I feel I’m getting younger and more engaged and involved in life everyday. I love my life. I’m off to India for a 9 day Spiritual Journey. My life is a frigging fantastic miracle. Oh JOY!
It wasn’t always like this. For a long time it was a Bumpy Road of overwhelm, stress, resentment, fear, confusion, frustration, anger, cluelessness. I was pretty much a mess through my 40ies. I’ve been waking up a little more each year. They say, “With age comes wisdom,” so I have three life tips to share. Tidbits of love from me to you, learned the hard way, but solid advice if you’re willing to experiment and try them on.
Before we look at the 3 Tips I have for you, let’s see if my wisdom and advice will be useful for you. Are we a match?
If you’re at all like me, you see yourself as a thoughtful, conscious woman. You have it mostly together at home and at work. You’ve read lots of self help books over the past few years, probably gone to therapy to help solve your problems, or marriage counseling for your relationship. You have some kind of spiritual connection. And you understand the power of the present moment, even if you can’t find it. Maybe you’ve listened to Eckhart Tolle or Deepak Chopra on Oprah’s Super Soul Sundays. You’ve tried yoga and meditation, but that hasn’t calmed the restlessness inside you.
It’s hard to pin down, to explain what’s happening. There’s maybe a feeling of anxiety, scattered thinking, a little confusion and some self doubt. You feel something is UP for you – a change, a shift, a something different in your life, but you’re not clear WHAT it is, HOW or WHY it is happening, what to do about it, and more importantly do you want it, are you ready for the change?
For some women the shift happens first in our relationships. We find that the person we are closest to, our spouse, our partner, a family member or close friend begins to bother us. We find ourselves more and more sensitive to little comments or we tire of their same old jokes. Routine behaviors, petty small things start to annoy us. We find ourselves taking their comments personally and become defensive or aggressively fight back. Or we retreat and find ourselves avoiding certain conversations or even cutting that person out of our lives altogether.
Over time our connection and sense of trust and closeness fades. We begin to wonder why were are in the relationship if it is going to cause us so much pain and suffering. Clearly the other person has changed, and not in the direction we expected. We want them to be they way they used to be.
These are early warning signs. For some this is the ultimate rationale we used for initiating a divorce, or shutting a friend or family member out of our lives. Stress in the relationship seeps out into every other area of our life. It can lead to sleep issues, as we stay awake analyzing a particular situation over and over in our minds. Our health begins to suffer. It can lead to loneliness and isolation as we pull away from others so that we don’t have to address what is bothering us. At worst we drop into anger, resentment, fighting and arguments in front of children, further destroying the family as our relationship continues to self destruct. Ultimately we feel alone, at a loss to deal with what is happening.
For other women the first signs of an internal change, a shift occurs at work. It might be that we’re not satisfied with the career path we have chosen. We find fault with the system or with our boss or staff. We aren’t feeling fulfilled in the day-to-day routine of our job. We come home exhausted with little or no energy to enjoy our family or friends, even yoga class doesn’t revive us. We feel we are living for our paycheck. What seemed exciting when we first began is now routine, even boring.
We feel we‘ve outgrown the work and are no longer making a contribution. Discontent in the workplace leads to potential challenges and power struggles with our co-workers. Lack of enthusiasm and energy feeds our sense of lack of purpose.
Each of us needs to feel we matter and that what we are doing in the world matters. When this need is unfulfilled we find ourselves in the limbo of a life transition. Conflicting demands for financial resources, family obligations, and our inner discontent at work can cause major upheaval in many areas of our lives.
For some women the problems and issues we are trying to solve in our relationships, or in our work and career are complicated by low energy, low mobility, and body pain. Adding the physical pain and emotional stress of an injury or chronic condition to everyday life can further reduce our available internal stamina to step out and consciously make changes in our lives. Chronic health issues can mirror chronic issues that have not been addressed in the emotional and spiritual body. Victim consciousness can develop when there is a sense of helplessness combined with physical pain.
For some of us the discontent we feel is directly connected to a spiritual crisis. Perhaps the death of a parent, or serious illness in the family brings us into deep questioning of our faith. We question our existence and what is the meaning of life. All these existential questions that can never be truly answered can take us into a depression and bring with it a deep sense of separation and disconnection with life, from ourselves and our spiritual source.
Can this be all there is? Not a pretty picture! Yet so many of these challenges and more are faced by women everywhere. Do you see yourself? Is this discontent and longing part of what you struggle with every day?
Are you this woman? I was her 25 years ago: two divorces, 2 kids, different dads surviving as a single working mom, overcoming addiction, changing careers at age 45, going back to school at age 55, starting a church in Berkeley and discovering my passion and purpose in my early 60ies. I know that feeling, that inner discontent, I had it bad and tried to fill it with Chardonnay, dating men I really didn’t love, and staying in a job I hated. I spent lots of money on therapy and read every book in the self help/change your life section until I finally found a path that felt right. Eventually I finally found someone and something I could resonate with and that brought me some relief from my own craziness and my self-destructive behavior.
What if you could stop feeling like you had to do it all?
What if you could let go of some of the stress in your life and get a good night’s sleep? When was the last time you woke up feeling happy and ready to enjoy your family and your work? It’s what you deserve.
What if your relationships were built on companionship and sharing, rather than competition and judgment? What if you could really trust yourself and your partner?
I know this is possible for all of us, and it is a goal of mine to support women on the path of happily ever after. The AFTER doesn’t mean we have to leave a relationship, or a job, it means we have to see what is happening inside us and be willing to fully accept it and experience it. We have to wake up to ourselves.
So here are my 3 Tidbits of Love from my 70 years of trial and many errors
Every perceived problem is calling forth some higher quality inside you. Your greatest challenges are your biggest opportunities for growth. Rather than rush to solve your problem, first look inside and see your perception and perspective.
Don’t look to change the outer world to solve your inner discomfort, your stress and pain. Look in the mirror to find what is bothering you and feel it fully. What people, situations, and challenges bring the most intense feelings? These are your best teachers. Be humble and don’t run away.
Stillness and silence create an inner and outer stability that form a foundation for you to assess where you are. In the stillness you can to listen for guidance and experience the subtle energies inside your body, From that place of calm center you have freedom to move forward in the direction of your dreams.
I am so happy to share with you. Let me know how it’s working in your life, email@example.com. I have lots of free audios and online radio archives that you can listen to and find more support. I also offer weekly Livestream video broadcasts of the Oneness Meditation and here is the link to watch an archive or join me live. My podcast Relationship Fix airs on iTunes, Stitcher and many podcast channels. . I am taking a group on a 2 week spiritual course to India in June, 2017. My online webinars, courses, and coaching programs are on my SpiritMattersCoaching.com. Sign up to receive my free gift Taking the Next Step: Courage to Change, or a complimentary half hour Jumpstart session to see if working with me is a fit for your life right now
On my last trip to India, June 2016
Oneness University in So. India
Rev. Dr. Patricia Keel has a Doctor of Ministry degree from Matthew Fox’s University of Creation Spirituality, now known as Wisdom University. Her doctoral project was based on bringing the Art as Meditation focus of Creation Spirituality into Unity churches with a dynamic 7-week program series called Living The Creative Life, based on Eric Butterworth’s book. Patricia has been creating curriculum for churches since 1995 as Founder of SpiritMatters, a church growth program company.
Since retiring in January, 2011 from her role as minister at Unity of Berkeley Patricia has been traveling to India 14 times to participate in courses, trainings and deepening processes at Oneness University, a small spiritual school in southern India. She also traveled to Shantikunj, an ashram in northern India operated by All World Gaitri Pariwar. Learn more about Rev. Dr. Keel
Presenting Bootcamp STAR Graduate – Alexander McClean, Eagle Wind Coaching
Alexander is one of our Top 11 students in this past session—the “cum laude” of the bunch who launched her businesses with our support and who is now thriving!
Alexander offers coaching to people experiencing doubts about midlife.
How to avoid confusion
Can I hear you say, “You got that right!” if you feel midlife is a maze of confusion?
You’re frustrated with just about everything. You feel tired all the time and drained of energy. Your head has a never ending stream of questions. You don’t know where your life is going. You feel like your drowning in a sea of soul searching. Unfulfilled dreams have floated by. This burning desire wells up in you to lead a more meaningful life. Me too!
Well there’s good news! I found a way through and so can you.
The antidote to confusion is clarity.
So let me share with you what my business is about.
Coaching is a curious profession. For me it’s a magical process that’s why I’ve been coached, continue to be coached and qualified as a Certified Professional Coach. I trust in this process because it works.
I believe there are four key aspects present at varying degrees unique to each person during each coaching session, as well as throughout each coaching journey. So let’s have a quick look at them now.
Clarity is gained by what to focus on now
It’s about ensuring and creating a confidential space of trust where the sky is the limit. It’s about feeling free enough to share aspirations, fears, ideas, values, beliefs, feelings and expectations spontaneously. It’s somewhere safe enough to dare to dream.
This non-judgmental space recognizes the disparity between a current reality and the power to choose and create a new reality. Decisions determine destiny.
Clarity is found by finding harmony
This is where obstacles can be challenged, strengths can be built on, different perspectives can be gained and possibilities can expand. It’s about stimulating curiosity, creativity, confidence and choices which encourage finding deeper meaning and fulfillment.
Finding harmony is the power to probe and ponder all options so that inwardly and outwardly this connects to the flow of a meaningful and fulfilling life.
Clarity is gained by seeing the bigger picture
Seeing the bigger picture permits possibilities and potential to unify and fuel a passion for action to go to the next level. This is when a sincere commitment to change in realistic incremental steps is sealed.
Accountability at this point also encourages going deeper into the process to enable conscious choices to be made. Meaningful actions need to be embraced. It’s a way to engage in life, bridge gaps and gain momentum to keep moving onwards and upwards.
Clarity is gained by sharing
Choosing to be dedicated and determined to follow through on decisions encourages practical application of what has been learnt to filter into and become a natural and integral part of daily and on-going life.
Sharing can spark insights. Highlighting, recapping and acknowledging positive feelings and outcomes along the way is uplifting and motivating.
It’s about celebrating, honoring and loving all those little steps that transformed into cherished triumphs.
Last, but certainly not least, wherever you are in your own personal maze remember it’s an entrance. It’s an entrance where you will find your way to your goal. Below are some of the results that my clients experienced when they reached their goals:
being 100% themselves and being happier
being confident to live the life of their dreams
being zen and finding balance and peace of mind
being healthier and more active and excited about life
being clear on why they are here and what they are here to do
being in control and able to decide the direction they choose to go
What do you want to experience more of?
Alexander McClean is a Professional Traininer & Coach. As a result of her revelations she was hungry to seek answers and she began to study personal development and she devoured everything. As she started to figure stuff out she got breakthroughs by implementing strategies, tools and habits that made my life take off. She decided she would not let her past define or dictate who she is. She started new routines, habits and ideas that helped her to change the way she looked at the world. She discovered that one of her greatest strengths is that she is vulnerable and that it is okay to be fully human. She knows how to cry, she knows how to grieve and she knows how to get back up again. Learn more about Alexander.
After 10 years in business with minimal success, she got crystal clear on how to talk with her prospects and clients and as a result she repositioned her entire business and is now realizing her full potential.
Presenting Bootcamp STAR Graduate – Kim Parrott, Sea Change Resources
Kim is one of our Top 10 students in this past session—the “cum laude” of the bunch who launched her businesses with our support and who is now thriving!
Kim offers executive and team coaching for senior leaders & emerging leaders.
I feel so fortunate to work as a coach and facilitator because it enables me to be my best self, while helping others realize their best selves. As a coach I get to help people identify what really matters to them at both a professional and personal level. As a facilitator I get to help groups achieve results beyond the sum of their individual efforts. That’s fun adventurous stuff, which I’ve always enjoyed.
Some background: I grew up overseas in a diplomatic family in East Africa, Soviet Union, England and Belgium. After college I went to sea for seven years as a coast guard licensed officer aboard square-rigged ships. Eventually my seafaring husband and I moved ashore to start a family. Soon thereafter I launched a consulting business with my mother, which has evolved into what is now SeaChange Resources. My mother continues to be a mentor, partner and inspiration.
Our Quest: Accelerated Wisdom
“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” –Isaac Asimov, Writer and Biochemistry Professor
This melancholy quote has been a motivating challenge for us at SeaChange—how do we accelerate the development of wisdom in leaders and teams? The commitment to that quest is embedded in our logo.
If the answers were self-evident, we’d all be enlightened by now. Clearly we’re not. IS there a way to fast-forward the acquisition of wisdom?
First of all, a distinction needs to be made between knowledge and wisdom. At its simplest, the former pertains to the information and skills that a person gains through experience and education. The latter is how well that knowledge is applied.
Wisdom is grown, not manufactured. It often originates from deeply personal experience, usually in the form of a challenge or hardship. It involves gaining a larger perspective that transcends the boundaries of self, in other words, a meta-awareness of awareness itself.
New Applications of Age-Old Wisdom
For the last five years we’ve been designing the Quest for Excellence framework–an intensive learning environment that naturally seeds and feeds wisdom. None of the ideas are new. Indeed most of the elements have ancient pedagogical roots.
The formula is simple: the pursuit of holistic excellence both in input and output.
Where we are breaking new ground is in the integrated application of these age-old modalities to the development of a modern leader.
The original Greek word for wisdom is sophia, which means clarity. Enabling society to gain wisdom apace with the surging knowledge of science is dependent on the clarity of our focus in evolving whole-minded and whole-hearted leaders.
A Lot to Ask
It’s a tall order, we know, and still aspirational at this point. However, that’s what coaching is about—encouraging our clients and ourselves to set beautiful and mighty goals that we can grow into.
There’s also serendipity involved. Several months ago I chanced upon the Coaches Console website while looking for an online calendar tool to share with my clients. I soon discovered that I had bumped into a whole system approach that would enable me to take my business to the next level. An Easy Breezy Bootcamp later I am much further along on my own business quest than I would have dreamed possible.
So I’ll end where I started—grateful to be surrounded by a community of coaches committed to bringing out the best in each other.
Kim Parrott is the principal of SeaChange Resources, LLC. Kim has 20 years of experience of leadership development, executive coaching, strategic planning and facilitation for a broad range of organizations including corporations, colleges, government agencies and the non-profit sector. She also serves on the faculty of the Center for Creative Leadership, a globally ranked provider of leadership development and research, and is a Senior Consultant for The Cradlerock Group providing leadership training and coaching for multinational companies. Kim holds a in BA History from Yale, a MA in Teaching from Brown and is an ICF certified coach. Kim lives with her husband and two children in Blue Hill, Maine. Learn more about Kim.
“My [Bootcamp] coach helped me reach for [and complete] the missing pieces. You must AIM for success to reach it!”
Presenting Bootcamp STAR Graduate – Laura Harju, Love Coach
Laura is one of our Top 11 students in this past session—the “cum laude” of the bunch who launched her businesses with our support and who is now thriving!
Laura offers love coaching to single woman.
Get on your path towards your Mr. Right
For me love has always been the basic feeling that we want to have to be happy. From my very early ages I was all the time looking for that romantic love and most of the time I was too mature for the boys that I was interested in. At the age of 18 I finally found my True Love. It was magical. It was everything that I had ever dreamed of. At the beginning we were a match, but after a couple of years together I started to notice things where we weren’t a match anymore. In that relationship I learned my love language which is very physical. For my first True Love that wasn’t the way he expressed his love and that became a bigger and bigger issue in our relationship. During our time together we had taught each other valuable lessons but grown apart in the process. Not long after that realization we broke up.
After the breakup with my first True Love I experienced a long row of Mr. Wrongs. I got to the point where I thought that True Love is something one experiences only once in a lifetime. When surrendering to the fact that the only relationship that will last forever is the relationship with myself, I cultivated my self-love and focused on things that made me happy. By doing so I was effectively using the Law of Attraction and attracted my second True Love into my life, a relationship where the Love grows every day! These experiences with Mr. Wrongs, coupled with meeting my second True Love, Markus, is what has shown me my true calling, my purpose in life, which is to help as many people as possible to find True Love in their own life.
How do you feel about finding your True Love? Do you see it as an impossible dream? Do you often think that all the good ones are already taken? Are you tired of jumping from one bad relationship to the next? Have you started to think that you need to change in some way to find True Love? I want to reassure you, that you are perfect just the way you are and that there is a True Love waiting for you! The common mistakes single women make when looking for their True Love which keep them meeting the wrong guys are lack of clarity, inaction and negative thought patterns.
Lack of clarity means that you don’t have a clear picture about your True Love. To get what you want you need to know what it is that you want. When you know the qualities you are looking for in a person, it’s easier for you when meeting new people to notice which one of them are potential partners and which one will maybe become good friends. Every encounter with another human being will give you a clearer picture of what it is that you want. When you are using all life’s experiences in determining your preferences you will find out soon what pleases you and what doesn’t. You want to sit down and write on a piece of paper all the aspects that you want to have in your ideal partner and relationship. Use all your past experiences as a stepping stone to gain more clarity of your likings. When you do know what you want and you start to focus on those qualities in other people, you will start noticing them more and soon the person you are looking at is your True Love.
The inaction that I’m referring to is the thought that “when I meet the One then I will do this and that with him”. But when you want to attract your True Love into your life, the most important thing is to feel good. Then you will get into your life even more things that make you feel good. Other people will reflect back to you the feelings that you are feeling inside of you. And people want to be around happy people. So when you are clear on what it is you want, then it’s time to take action. Do things that bring you joy, make you happy and help you experience those feelings you wish your True Love will awaken in you. Make your dreams come true, do the things that you have always wanted to do, have fun with your friends, do pleasant things on your own, and really live your life and you will find the One who will make your life even more fun, joyful and magical.
With negative thought patterns I mean those unfavorable repetitive thoughts that go through your head when you think about True Love. Those thoughts can be “All the good ones are already taken”, “There’s no such thing as True Love” or “There’s something wrong with me”. If the thought of True Love fills you with negative feelings like loneliness, desperation, fear, unworthiness, jealousy, discouragement, worry, doubt or frustration, it’s a strong sign that there are negative thought patterns hiding behind those feelings. You are a spiritual being and your thoughts and feelings determine a lot of your outer reality. So when you have your list of your preferences ready, it’s important to think about your True Love and feel positive feelings like joy, love, appreciation, passion, enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness, positive expectation and belief, optimism and hopefulness. One easy way to give your desire positive attention is to form affirmations that arise those feelings inside of you when you read them out loud or silently to yourself. You want to keep those affirmations with you and come back to them as often as possible and especially when you aren’t feeling good to get yourself into a better mood. Focusing positively on your True Love will make your days more joyful and love-filled. You will soon notice the effects by encountering people who help you feel those positive feelings, one of them being your True Love.
The mistakes mentioned above are easy to avoid. It’s up to you to take the time and energy to learn and use the tips and tools to avoid them. So go to the Love Coach Laura Harju website and get your Free Special Report where you will get more strategies how to avoid these mistakes.
Laura Harju is a certified Life Coach and a Love Coach. She assists her clients to identify their True Love, to experience more Love here and now, and to clear out the mind’s obstacles to finding True Love. Laura loves working as a Life Coach because it allows her to contribute to people’s lives in a much deeper way; and thanks to modern technology, Laura can serve clients worldwide! Through her coaching Laura helps single women find their True Love, so that they can share the big Love they have in their hearts. Learn more about Laura.
“You MUST know your WHY to be able to stay the course and see great results. Bootcamp is a full blown Business Building Class set up in bite size pieces, not just learning a software.”
Presenting Bootcamp STAR Graduate – Victoria McCooey, The Divorce Course for Women
Victoria is one of our Top 11 students in this past session—the “cum laude” of the bunch who launched her businesses with our support and who is now thriving!
Victoria offers coaching to women who are going through divorce.
Finding Your Lemonade
When life gives you lemons, it may be hard to see how to make lemonade. But it’s there, if you just keep looking
When I was suffering through my own divorce, I didn’t see a bright side. All I could see was wounded children, a vengeful ex, insurmountable bills, isolation and fear, vacation days spent in courtrooms, guilt, fear and depression. I was in victim mode.
Can you relate? Are you feeling like a victim now? If you are, then you know what it’s like. You’re tired. You’re depressed. Everything hurts. You feel jealous. You believe that the universe is out to get you. You find no joy in anything. You say to yourself, over and over, “why me?”
Ugh. Who wants to live like that? No one. And no one wants to be around anyone like that. Not your friends. Not your family. Not your children. It’s hard to help someone who is feeling sorry
for herself. So you need to find a way to snap out of it. Fast.
One way is to look for the positive. “Impossible,” you say. “There is absolutely nothing positive about what’s happening here.” You may be surprised.
It’s difficult to understand why bad things happen when they’re happening. But the reason always becomes clear in time. So you just have to trust that something good is going to come of
the heartache you are feeling now. And it will.
It wasn’t until many years later that I realized why I had to endure a decade-long divorce, suffer through endless court appearances, and begrudgingly spend what could have been college tuition for my three children. It was so that I would be more knowledgeable about more aspects of divorce and how it affects women, and be able to help more women who find themselves in the same situation.
I finally understood how to make lemonade out of my lemons.
I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything. Every single obstacle I faced made me stronger and better able to support my clients. All of that negativity has been transformed into a
positive: a fulfilling career helping women face their own divorce drama and come out better than before. I want you to find your lemonade. I want you to one day take your experiences from this dark, scary time and realize the positive impact they’ve had on you. You will be stronger. You will be smarter. You will be a better parent. You will gain new perspective. You will be better equipped to handle unexpected challenges. You will be a better partner to some very lucky person.
Try to keep this in mind as you make your way through the process. Your lemonade is waiting.
Victoria McCooey is founder, president and head coach at The Divorce Course for Women. She became a volunteer for the Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and she supported and encouraged the women she met by imparting what she’d learned on her journey. Learn more about Victoria.
“I didn’t get out there to reach my ideal clients because I didn’t feel like I had enough value to offer or know how to do it professionally. Now , after Bootcamp, I have a web site, a free gift to share and a professional manner in which to describe my ideal client and engage them.“
Presenting Bootcamp STAR Graduate – Angelique Beauregard, AB Transformations
Angelique is one of our Top 11 students in this past session—the “cum laude” of the bunch who launched her businesses with our support and who is now thriving!
Angelique offers coaching to overweight, overstressed, overtired midlife women.
7 Reasons Why You Should Make a Family Photobook, Even When You Hate Your Pictures Because You Think You’re Fat
This is the time of year I create my annual Family Photobook for the previous year. So far I have created 16 since 2000 when my second daughter was born. I always have two copies made, one for each of my girls. For now I keep a copy at my house and another at my mom’s, in case of fire.
On the cover of each photobook is my favorite photo of the kids. When I line them up side by side, I see how quickly they’re growing!
Unfortunately there aren’t a whole lot of pictures of me in them. I’ve always hated having my photo taken, always disappointed with how fat I look.
How sad to think that my daughters have so few images of me in their treasured books!
Fortunately, their 2017 book will be filled with photos of me (whether they like it or not!). Since I lost 50 lbs, I love having my photo taken, and I actually look as good in them as I feel.
Here are 7 reasons why you should create your own family photobook:
It creates a record of your family life for future generations (my main purpose). It’s not so much about the photos, but the moments and memories they represent.
It forces you to get your best photos out of your computer, so you can easily look at them over and over again.
A photobook is beautiful and fun to look through, much less bulky than a photo album (and easier than wading through thousands of forgotten photos on your computer).
It encourages you to take better pictures, because you know you’ll be putting them in your book the following year.
It is affordable and easy to do – just Google Search online photo shops for the best deals (Costco is a great one).
The photos they contain are laid out to tell a story. You can create a theme, add text, and change the image sizes. You can get really creative!
More importantly, a photobook builds a meaningful connection between you and the person you’re viewing it with.
So if you are avoiding the camera because you think you’re fat, I’m here to tell you that you CAN lose the weight and learn to love having your photo taken too! Your family will thank you – for generations to come!
You just need to take the first step.
I invite you to sign up for a complimentary “Love Your Mirror” consultation. You’ll have access to my online calendar, so you can choose a date and time that works best for you.
Your Biggest Supporter, Angelique
Angelique Beauregard is the principal and owner of AB Transformations Inc. Through her one-on-one transformational nutrition coaching, she helps women who struggle with their weight create a simple personalized plan for permanent weight loss so they can finally wear cute clothes, move around freely, and love their bodies. Learn more about Anelique.
Grew her list by 300%!!! From 0 contacts to 300 in less than 10 weeks using the Free Gift she created in Bootcamp!
Presenting Bootcamp STAR Graduate Jenifer Horvath, Heart Lifted Coaching
Jenifer is one of our Top 11 students in this past session—the “cum laude” of the bunch who launched her businesses with our support and who is now thriving!
Jenifer offers whole life coaching for women with children who are tired of surviving and are ready to thrive.
Moving From Surviving to Thriving
As parents, it’s easy to fall into the rhythm of merely surviving. Doing what you need to do to exist and get the necessary tasks done on a daily basis, especially under hardship. We need this survival mode.
Problems begin to appear when we are in survival mode for too long. Survival mode is exhausting, stressful, and emotionally defeating. It causes wear on your mind and body. Signs of being in a state of survival are blaming and judging others. Perhaps we feel inferior, or not in control, so we gossip and have short tempers with our kids. We are overly critical of others and ourselves. Seeing the bad first. We see life as happening to us, instead of for us. We find it difficult to see different points of view and all the possibilities.
To help numb any feelings of disappointment, fear or guilt, we begin to turn to things that take our minds off our feelings. Some people turn to wine, food, Facebook and Netflix to zone out night after night. Others become workaholics or excessive cleaners to keep themselves busy. These coping mechanisms in excess become crutches, so we don’t deal with our emotions and reality.
We soldier on doing the things we think we must do to survive. Not giving ourselves permission to think about how our lives might not be what we want them to be. Planting smiles on our faces to hide that we feel lost. This is survival mode.
Is this all there is to life?
The beautiful thing is that you don’t need to stay in that state of surviving. You can reignite your spark, inspiration, and motivation. You can choose to see the positive and opportunities. You can find what you’re passionate about and uncover ways to enjoy it, while being a parent. You can thrive.
Thriving is an intentional state. Knowing what you really want and why you want it. Purposely planning and living your life, so it’s in alignment with your values.
Yes, it does take work to get there and effort to choose to be your best self every day. The benefits, however, of being in this state are greater energy, awareness, happiness, focus and an even more meaningful life. Thriving creates more thriving. Suddenly, the world opens up to you and ideas you never saw before are there.
As parents, it does mean blending all components of your life – yourself, your family, friends, work and other elements – into a delicious life smoothie that works for you. Everyone’s life smoothie is going to be different. What matters is if it’s working for you.
While our life will swing between surviving and thriving, choosing intentional and purposeful living and personal growth daily will bring you greater fulfillment.
Choosing to Thrive: How to begin
Awareness is the first step in moving into thriving. Specifically knowing where you are now and where you want to be.
Try this life satisfaction exercise to get more clarity on what’s working for you and what’s not:
Identify: Write down the different areas of your life: health, family, career, self-development, volunteering, hobbies, home, spiritual and other areas.
Rank: For each area, rank your satisfaction on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is a little bit satisfied and 10 is completely satisfied.
Observe: Try not to judge. Simply be honest with yourself and notice what’s sticking out from the ranking. What’s higher? What’s lower?
Consider: If you could change just one area to give your life more overall satisfaction, which one would it be?
Create: With that one area in mind, focus on creating one tiny action step you can take to improve that area. Keep it doable and enjoyable, so you get positive reinforcement when you achieve it.
Using this new awareness, be mindful of how your satisfaction begins to shift with this small step. When you’re comfortable and consistent with incorporating your first action step, ask yourself what might be your second action step.
Creating change takes time but it’s absolutely do-able. Working with a life coach can help you move to thriving faster and easier than doing it on your own. They are experts in getting results for their clients. They not only have the knowledge but most have been trained in the psychology of change and habit making. If you’re really committed to making a change, consider hiring an expert to give you the guidance, support, and accountability, especially for those days that you fall off the wagon. They’ll get you back going quickly.
Jenifer Horvath is the founder of Heart Lifted Coaching, and a trained Life and Business Coach. Through weekly sessions, she helps moms reduce stress and guilt, in order to be happier, calmer and live a more meaningful life. She has two daughters and loves yoga, brain-science and sipping lattes with friends. Learn more about Jenifer.