No matter your ups and downs of the cycles you experience in your business… these signs are always the undercurrent of everything you do…and are what sees you through to your success as you define it!!
Here’s to creating a business beyond your wildest dreams so you can live the lifestyle beyond your wildest dreams!!
A couple of months ago, Andy Key, a member of The Coaching Lifestyle Facebook group, started a thread asking people how they got their first client.
I mean, this thread got CRAZY! (It was probably one of the hottest threads in the group, ever!)
What really inspired me about Andy was how he kept asking great questions—digging deeper and deeper into what people said.
The thread got so much involvement, and it was so much FUN, that I decided to interview him, solo, and I could give him personalized advice on actions he can take now to start building a client base.
Watch it here—because I’m confident my advice to Andy could help YOU, too! Not to mention the questions Andy asks me just might be the same questions you’re wishing you had the answers to…
Also, in the video, I mention our upcoming live event, Lifestyle LIVE! scheduled for February 12-14 in Atlanta—where you’ll learn more deeply about the stuff Andy and I talked about in this interview and absolutely everything you need to fall head-over-heels IN LOVE with your business.
You can learn more here: http://coachesconsole.com/live/.
Melinda: Well hello everybody its Melinda here with the Coaches Console. I’m here I’m joined with Andy. It’s so great to meet you Andy and I really appreciate you coming on. You know you started what might be one of our hottest threads in the in the coaching lifestyle Facebook group by one simple question.
I think it was back in November the beginning part of November when you asked it. The question was super simple how’d you get your first client? And my gosh, just da, da, da, da, da and everything that followed from that. And I loved watching people would respond and you are like, yes okay that’s great and now tell me about this.
Okay that’s good information and you were just like digging and digging and digging and like really wrapping your mind around all the valuable information that you are getting from the group. Andy, this is the first time we’ve met. I was just so inspired by your question, your I call it chomp like when you are like I want this, I want to know this information. I love that. I wish all new coaches had that. So tell me about yourself because we’ve never actually met before right now. Tell me about you and your business like what stage is your business in?
Andy: Okay well obviously since I asked that question I’m kind of struggling getting my first clients. I’ve been trying to get into the coaching business for about a year now. It’s kind of a long story, my life was headed in a completely wrong direction and I found out after 33 miserable years that I needed to go full-out entrepreneur.
Melinda: I know that experience as well like you are going down a certain path and all of a sudden you are like oh no that’s not going to work anymore, we are going to have to go a different direction.
Andy: Yeah, I know, right?
Melinda: Yeah. It kind of sucks like in the moment it really sucks and then there’s like this point of exhilaration and then it sucks again and you are like, oh god what have I done?
Andy: I don’t know, I think it’s liberating mostly even though of course the entrepreneurial life has its stresses and all, I prefer it that way. But anyway, having studied self-development galore since 2014, I came I came upon the term of confidence coaching and it just resonated with me because what I found is that confidence is the way I see it the number one common denominator in everything that is related to self development.
There’s always this element of what level of confidence am I on here and there is a strong correlation between successful self development and high confidence. So even though confidence coaching may sound a little vague it makes sense to me and I and I know that it’s a huge up-and-coming niche. When I looked at it about a year ago and I started getting into it, I could find about maybe 10 or 20 confidence coaches by a regular Google search.
Since then not more than eight or nine months later that number had risen to more than 100. I think that would be a good tip-off that that confidence coaching is the way to go. So that’s what I’m trying to get into. I’m kind of kind of finding some ways in, I’ve been working with one beta client, a girl I found in my mastermind group but hey if it works—
Melinda: How did you find her because that was your question you posted in the group? So it was in a mastermind group that you were in.
Andy: Yeah, I’m in a mastermind group and I simply offered some of the other members free coaching because they were struggling with some things that I might be able to help them with. One of them said yes and so I’ve been kind of working with her. So that’s one thing I’ve been doing.
Another thing I’ve been doing is that I’ve been fortunate enough this December to get on a Christmas calendar giveaway in another coaching group so I’ve had the opportunity of giving away free sessions to a number of people, just pretty much anyone who said yes basically. And so I’ve been doing a couple of free sessions there as well.
I’ve only been getting positive feedback so far which only confirms my notions that I’m able to do this and even though I don’t have a certificate yet I’ve been reading enough books and taking enough courses on coaching that I do have the necessary foundation for being able to do it.
Melinda: Yeah. One of the things I noticed when I was looking through the thread because you talked about in your mastermind group in another group they were doing a giveaway and you kind of got involved in that. Some of the other responses that I noticed that were pretty prominent were people doing webinars, people going to networking groups, Facebook groups.
A lot of people are active in Facebook groups and friends and family, the people that are in your closest sphere around you. And that’s just getting out there, talking about what you are doing I mean that’s the first step. And I saw a lot of people saying you know just get out there and start talking about it, just get out there and start talking about it but you were like, how do I find those people to get in front of?
And it just begins. I know when I started my business 15 years ago now, you just start and you get in front of maybe one person or a small group and then something will happen and transpire there and that will lead to this conversation or this introduction or this idea over here.
And then that spawns and now you are over here because of another conversation or an idea. You slowly begin to get in front of different people in different ways. It’s just the consistency, that’s one of the things that I wanted to share with you, I didn’t see that in that thread but consistency is what makes all of the difference.
And that’s what I see a lot of people, they’ll try something one or two times and be like, oh that didn’t work let me throw that out the window. And then they are like okay let’s go try this thing over here, oh look that didn’t work. Most people give up before they give enough consistent action to see results. So I just wanted the opportunity to share that with you that whatever you are finding that resonates with you keep doing it consistently, consistently, consistently.
Andy: Right, right. I think that’s an important point because not everything resonates with everybody so there might be some things where I’m kind of going to go okay I’m not going to do that anymore because that simply doesn’t resonate with me.
And I think when you are starting out like I am you might not have that experience of consistency exactly because you are trying a lot of different things to see what resonates with you. So that consistency might not be there for me right now but you make a good point.
Melinda: It’s what I call the research phase, you are like okay let me try this.
Andy: Exactly, yeah.
Melinda: That’s right. Let me do this a little bit more and you try something else you are like, yeah no, not so much. It’s like a buffet like when you go to a great restaurant that has this amazing buffet. You try something and you are like that’s disgusting, I’m never going to eat that again and you don’t go back there. Marketing is actually the same way.
Now the next person that walks up to the buffet are like, oh my god that’s the best thing I’ve ever ate and you are like, well, interesting. But once you find that thing that resonates with you consistency is what makes a difference. As you locate that thing don’t give up too quickly stay consistent with it. Like when I started what I discovered was I love networking. It lights me up.
It’s how I’m built. It’s not that I taught myself to like it, I just love it. I could not get enough of going to networking groups. I just loved going there, I loved connecting people with resources, I loved connecting with potential people that could give me clients and introduce me to people and I just I love that way of doing business.
It was a good three months of consistent action every week, every day of every week before it became like this big snowball that started spinning crazily. But during those three months it’s like whoa, that’s okay I’m and a lot of people in that window. For some people it’s a few weeks, for some people it’s three months, for some people it might be longer. But a lot of people will give up too quickly and you just keep going just keep going and be persistent and consistent.
Andy: Right. That’s another great point.
Melinda: Yeah. And that’s one of the things you know, I think it was, who was it Sandra what’s her last name? Joan Belle and Sandra got in this interesting dialogue because when you are thinking about how do you find your first client now this is where we have to take off the hat of the coach, right? So you love coaching, you love helping people become confident in whatever area they are in. We have to put on the hat of the business owner.
Melinda: Right? And so it’s not only about—and speaking of confidence this is an interesting point, when it comes to marketing, marketing is not only about how do you find the people and then talk about it and then introduce the conversation to enroll them. But it’s also once they say yes what happens after? And I thought that was interesting. I don’t know if you saw that in the thread but they were talking about after you convert somebody what happens next?
Andy: Oh yeah, I remember that now, yeah.
Melinda: And it’s interesting because I’m a systems geek and I love efficiency and effectiveness and process. That’s how I operate. One of the things that I see more times than not with startup coaches like yourself is they don’t pay attention to that. They are like, look I’ve just got to find people to talk to, I’ve got to get a client, I’ll worry about that later.
But here’s what happens and this is the other reason I wanted to hop on Zoom with you is like okay heads-up about this because I don’t want this to happen to you. When they don’t think about when somebody says yes then what’s next, when you don’t think about that or plan for that in advance you have this oh crap moment. You are like, oh shit they said yes right?
And then you are like, I don’t know what to do next. Now you’ve got to go back to the Facebook group like, okay somebody said yes now what do you do? It’s like how do you get them signed up, how do you schedule the first call? And now all these other questions come up.
We know these are there even though we may not pay attention to them and when we don’t have even just a broad idea about what happens after somebody says yes, people dig their heels in on marketing. They slow down their efforts on the front end of things on getting out there, talking with people, being consistent in their action because they are like oh god they might actually say yes and I have no freaking idea what to do.
And we want to look professional because they are going to hire us, they are going to pay us for the services that we provide so we want to present this professionalism. But if we are in this oh crap, I don’t know what to do then there’s this unconscious digging in the heels that really people sabotage their marketing efforts and I see it all of the time.
So you don’t have to know every single answer of every single thing after somebody signs up but you do have to have an idea. So when you are talking with your beta person from your mastermind and they are like oh my gosh, Andy like this is amazing, I think I want you to actually be my coach like for good, like let’s make this a real thing.
Then you just flow, you are like, okay great here’s how it’s going to work and you can just flow right into it. Now that enrollment conversation is a much easier conversation and doesn’t have to be a sales pitch or a hard thing that you are having to sell. It’s just like okay well here’s how this works.
That’s why a lot of people say I don’t like enrollment conversations, I don’t like selling because they haven’t answered what happens after somebody says yes. I wan to throw that out there to you to make sure that while you are still doing your consistent stuff wearing the head of the business owner you are also paying attention on what happens after somebody says yes.
Andy: Right. Well that is a good point. I have been talking to a few people about that so I do have well for example some payment options for international clients and I have been taking some courses for example by Christian Michelson whom you’ve probably heard of.
Andy: Okay, yeah I thought so. I’ve done a few of his courses also and he teaches this stuff as you know. So it’s not that I’m exactly clueless as to as to what happens after we enroll them.
Melinda: Awesome. You don’t have to know every single answer to every how do I do this question but you have some idea or else like I said you’ll dig in your heels. Unconsciously you’ll be saying I don’t want to do that because they might say yes.
Andy: Sure, I mean I think it’s one of those areas I think where right now I’m at a stage where it’s not perfect but it’s not supposed to be perfect either at this stage. It will be probably at some point but not right now. That’s not what’s most important right now. What’s important right now is getting those clients and then we can always fine-tune stuff later, you know?
Melinda: Yeah and we call it like in our bootcamp we teach the villains and superpowers so we have this one villain that we teach and her name is Perfect Portia. That’s a lot of entrepreneurs because they think it has to be perfect before they get out there.
Andy: No, no, no.
Melinda: So I admire that you are like, no let’s take this imperfect action, let’s take action, let’s improve, let’s research, take more action, improve and just have this constant never-ending improving instead of perfection, perfection, perfection and then run out of time, energy money and passion before you ever get anywhere.
Andy: Exactly. There’s a good saying that goes like this, it’s not supposed to be art it’s supposed to work. That’s kind of what I try to live by.
Melinda: Yeah and a lot of us, I know I was in this boat and it sounds like you might be too. I was fired from my job. I had a very small window of time where I was like I’ve got to make money people, I got mortgages, I got bills, I got utilities, I got responsibilities so I’ve got a small amount of time to make this work. And like you said it’s not art it’s got to work.
Melinda: So get out there, research, do it, improve. That’s a beautiful, beautiful approach so kudos to you. That takes a lot of courage to do that. You paved the way beautifully by asking the questions. That’s how it is like let’s ask this out. That was awesome. One of the other things that that I really loved in the in the thread that I just wanted to pull out was who was it, Becky?
Andy: There were so many people participating I don’t remember one from the other, sorry.
Melinda: But there was somebody in there that was talking about how when she’s talking to somebody that might be interested in what she’s up to she cites examples. Whether it’s just a real client that she’s worked with like Susie was struggling with X and then she got this result.
She talked about that or if it’s a general example that conveys an idea. But that right there is one of the powerful then you don’t have to sell anything. When you can have those examples whether they are specific like the two people that you are working with, the one person from your beta, from your mastermind it’s like okay what were the struggles and what’s the transformation when you can articulate that in a very succinct way and you are talking with other people?
It’s like it reminds me of my client da da da. She was doing this and now as a result she’s experiencing XYZ. The more examples you can give, now people don’t have to understand coaching, they don’t have to get it, they don’t have to know how it works. They just have to know that’s my struggle and I want that transformation so you are the guy I should be talking to.
That’s where when you are talking with people, when you are having those sample sessions, when you are having those enrollment conversations, the more that you can share real stories of your own, your clients or other people that you know the less selling you have to do. It’s like I’m just presenting to you, this is real-time information folks and people are like yeah I want that.
Andy: Right. There’s a saying that people don’t buy coaching they buy results.
Melinda: Yeah, we were talking about that. One of the posts that I made somebody else started this thread what are you selling? And I was like, no, you are not selling, remember that thread?
Andy: I remember, yeah.
Melinda: Yeah, I was like I don’t think this is what you were going for but what you are selling is transformation, what you are selling is results. And the more that you can convey that nobody has to understand what coaching is, nobody has to get confused as like oh what sports?
Like none of that ever has to come up. It’s just like here’s the transformation that’s provided and then they get to say yeah I’m ready for that. And you can help them get clear on their commitment. That’s really all an enrollment conversation is it’s like do you really want this transformation, are you committed to it and how clear are you on that commitment?
And when you are ready I’m here for you. That right there that is your enrollment conversation, that’s it. You can bring the right coaching skills to the table and do that so I’m going to put you on the spot like we haven’t rehearsed any of this, I didn’t send you any questions like we are making this up right now.
Andy: Right, go for it.
Melinda: My question for you is what is the transformation you provide? I know you talked a little bit about being a confidence coach that’s the kind of coaching you do. But what really gets you excited?
Andy: What gets me excited?
Andy: Well, being an upstart I obviously haven’t worked with a lot of people yet. But what makes me excited is I think and this is something that I hadn’t really thought about before. But when I noticed that I make a difference in people’s lives for the better, when I noticed that there’s a change in their ways of thinking.
They have this kind of aha moment where they go, oh yeah, I hadn’t thought about that before but that makes perfect sense. Being able to provide that for people I know they are providing it for themselves it’s because it’s their own ideas, we are just helping to dig them out. But I think that one point is just when I experienced that the first time I was like oh yeah, this is it baby.
Melinda: When you experienced it the first time what is that oh yeah baby, what’s behind that?
Andy: It only confirmed my idea that that I’m headed in the direction I’m supposed to be heading in. I’m supposed to be doing this definitely. Having tried to get into coaching for so long and not having done any actual coaching, I’ve had my doubts actually but having that happen that was like, okay yeah, boom, that was it. That was like the confirmation that I needed.
Melinda: Let me reframe this, what you just described is—and I’m taking notes so when you see me looking down like I’m actually taking notes.
Andy: Yeah, I was I was thinking that.
Melinda: And so what I just heard you say was that what like just completely lit you up, is the way I describe it, was this confirmation I’m heading in the right direction.
Melinda: With my life purpose.
Melinda: Okay, so that’s one little nugget I pulled out. Let me just ask that question again, for you on your journey when you experienced, what else, what other impact did that have on you?
Andy: What other impact it had on me? You mean like in other areas of my life?
Andy: I think it gave me a sense of calmness and maybe a greater sense of confidence myself, a sense of okay well there’s a doubt there just got eliminated. This means that this will free up some of my energy to pursue other ideas for example do this and that or do X or Y or Z. I think it gave me some excess energy that I hadn’t had before.
Melinda: Yeah and what I heard you not say in that phrasing was greater confidence that I can do this. Is that true?
Andy: Oh yeah. You didn’t hear me say that but definitely that was—
Melinda: Like it was woven in there?
Melinda: Is that real thing for you?
Andy: Oh, definitely, definitely yeah.
Melinda: So one of the things when we are first getting started it’s like we just know we want to do this thing. It excites us, we are like yeah, we have got to do more of this, right? Whenever you are finding your first client or finding—and what you asked was not even how do you find your first client?
But what I noticed in the digging that you were doing by the additional questions it’s like okay that’s great that you found that client but how did you get in front of them to even start talking to them? That’s what we call leads, building your list, growing your list, finding new leads, finding prospects, list building.
All that kind of stuff is what we talk about in the industry and so that’s like the precursor to getting clients. It’s like, okay we’ll figure out how to get clients but how do I get in front of these like who are these people and how do I find them? That’s the list building, that’s the power of having a list.
And it doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be oh I’ve got to have 18000 people on my list. No, you can have five people on your list, you can have 55 people on your list and you just start talking about it. What I love about that is what I noticed people were saying over and over again is you have to know who these people are and where they are hanging out.
And so what I love about what we just went through based on your own experience was the people that you want to talk to are people that want confirmation that they are heading down the right path of their life purpose. They want a greater confidence that they can do their dreams and live their purpose. And you want to find people that want to free up their energy to pursue their ideas and turn them into something. Those three things that’s exactly what you just said, right?
Melinda: You are going to have this recording. You can grab that and use it and so as you are out talking to people whether you are at the supermarket, on the sidelines of a sporting game, at some concert, at a festival. Like wherever you go in your life and somebody asks, so Andy what do you do? What I never want you to say ever again is, oh I’m a coach. That’s never your answer.
Andy: Obviously we have to call it that at some point but yeah we could we could postpone that somehow, I guess.
Melinda: When new coaches start out and say, so Andy what are you doing? Oh, I’m a confidence coach, usually you are going to get one of three responses. Oh, that’s nice and then they change the subject or they’ll say, oh my gosh what sport how cool is that?
Or they’ll say nothing and just walk away. That’s the experience, it’s like wow we are setting ourselves up for failure and to have crappy conversations. So rather than answering the question what do I do with who I am and what’s my profession, to answer the question with well I provide transformation for people looking for those three things.
And then you can give an example, for example I’m working with one person right now. She was struggling with this and now she’s experiencing this or my own story, I was struggling with this and now I have this experience and I got boom, boom, boom. That’s how you start talking to people.
Andy: Right. I have a question about that or two, if that’s okay. Do you use that phrase to provide transformation yourself?
Andy: Okay and so do you elaborate on that or you don’t need to?
Melinda: You do not need to at all. People don’t care about how, they only care about the results.
Andy: Right, the why is more important than the how of course.
Melinda: We care about the how and so we are seeing this like right now the coach hat just got put back on it’s like but wait I’m a coach that’s the most important part is actually the coaching that’s done and how it works and the way it goes and the transformation.
We care about that because that’s our zone of genius but the people that we are talking to when I say well through my coaching I provide transformation and then I talk about they don’t hear all that. What they hear is the result, result, result. It’s like oh my gosh, my neighbor was just talking about struggling with that thing and so they pick up on that. We hear the other stuff. They don’t hear it like we do.
Andy: Okay, okay well that that makes sense. I just think there might be some cultural differences as well or sub-cultural differences when you talk about these things. I think coaching is a bigger thing in America than it is in certain European countries.
I’m from Denmark for example and it’s not very easy to talk about coaching over here. People still think it’s like kind of a some neo religious woo-woo thing. And so I have an idea that, well I haven’t tried talking to people about providing transformation yet but I think people might react kind of the same.
Melinda: Instead of transformation use the word results.
Andy: Yeah, okay, sure.
Melinda: That is straight to the point. And so if somebody were to say so hey Andy what do you do? The response might be something like, you could even say through my coaching or through the work that I do one-on-one with people the results that they get are these, something like that.
Do you see how that goes? So it’s like you say a little bit about through the work I do one-on-one with people or because people don’t care about coaching you are not selling coaching. And it sucks because it’s our passion and when we can eliminate this from emphasizing in a conversation because what they are interested in are the results.
Andy: To me it’s just a matter of I don’t mind not calling it coaching, it’s a matter of semantics really. And I think what would make me happy is just to know that I’m kind of marketing myself in the best possible way. I think whatever I need to call it would be the nice thing to know.
Melinda: Through work with one on one clients or through my group programs or through my coaching, just a brief mention, the results that my clients get or I help my clients and then talk about the results.
Andy: Right, right. That is so helpful, thank you so much. I have another question about that, if you don’t mind. When I’ve been talking about this confidence coaching stuff some people have given me this objection kind of or a good counterpoint what you might call it but confidence for what?
Melinda: Exactly so this is interesting.
Andy: Yeah, it is.
Melinda: So that’s the other thing. You’ll start to hone in on this so right now if I just take those three things based on your journey because that’s really all we have to go on right now because you haven’t started working with clients. You are still kind of researching where do I want to be here?
So if we just start with your journey confirmation that I’m going in the right direction with my life purpose, greater confidence that I can do this and to free up my energy to pursue my ideas. In that sense greater confidence with my life purpose like that’s where you are starting right now.
That will morph and change and expand. It will kind of move in different directions as you keep researching and evolving. I’m 15 years later and it’s still ever evolving. But for right now that’s what you have to go on. So confident, area of life purpose because that’s what you are like, yeah man let’s do this!
Andy: Yeah, yeah. You make a good point, however one person told me that this sounds a lot like life coaching.
Melinda: So what?
Andy: I don’t remember what I answered that person but I don’t think so what would make for a very professional answer.
Melinda: No, I’m just telling you so what? There are a lot of objections that people have and with something like that to say with the work I do what I want is to teach the life skill of confidence. That’s where I put my emphasis. Because then that skill is transferable while I love working with people on discovering their life purpose it also is transferable to a lot of areas of their life. So you’ll have that in the recording as well.
Andy: Right, I appreciate that, yeah. And it makes perfect sense to me also but I think it’s a matter of me needing to frame it in ways that make sense to other people who don’t necessarily know what I’m talking about.
Melinda: Like right there is the gem of the whole conversation is we know what we are saying that doesn’t matter. When we are talking with somebody what they are running through their head is what’s in it for me and they’ve got to understand it. So we’ve got to be able to articulate in a way that they can understand the value that it could have on them or the people they know, absolutely.
Melinda: Yeah, awesome. So when you are getting out in front of these people you’ve got a lot of ideas from the thread and what you are already discovering about how to find these people and then it’s just you’ve got two or three here and then it leads to two or three more there and ten or twenty here and five or ten there and 50 here.
Consistently it continues to grow and expand and then it’s important to be able to articulate not the coaching but the results, the struggle and the results and being able to communicate that in a way that people understand it. And now it just becomes an invitation are you committed to making this change and getting out of the struggle and getting into these results?
When you are committed I’m your coach and I’m here for you. Then enrollment just becomes powerful coaching which I love when that happens. I wanted to thank you for this, for the thread that you’ve started and for just your persistence in digging and diving. This is such an important topic.
We focus here at the Coaches Console and the Coaching Lifestyle community on the startup and the reason I ask what stage you are in you know a lot of people they are still in their job and they are just dreaming about having their own business. They are dreaming about being an entrepreneur and you are like nope I made that step, here we go.
Andy: A lot of people in the in the Facebook group?
Melinda: Yeah, in the Facebook group. They haven’t left their fulltime job. They want to but they haven’t left yet. Some people have gotten fired like me, some people have left, some people are at the very beginning stages or they’ve been doing this one or two years, a majority of the people in our community is in those kind of areas in their business.
And this is such an important area this is what stops people from leaving those jobs and living into their passion and their purpose and their potential. So I wanted to hop on here and I just want to take a quick moment because we are doing a lot of this, we are going to dive deep into a lot of this at the live event.
I don’t know if you’ve been seeing our posts inside the Facebook group but we are doing a live event. It’s here stateside it’s in the state so it’d be a little bit of travel for you but we are going to be doing it in Atlanta over February. This whole idea of list building or how to like where do you find those people like that whole idea we are going to spend a session talking about that.
So it’s like how do you unpack that, how do you figure that out and get some momentum there? We are going to be talking about enrollment conversations, the four objections that you’ll hear all the time, we are going to be talking about that. We are going to be talking about what to do after and it’s what we call onboarding like bring on a new client.
So we are going to be covering a lot in three days to help people get that momentum and to have the focus for the whole year to come. I just wanted to let you know and all the people listening in to know that what Andy and I have done here we are going to be doing a lot of this at the live event in February.
You’ll see the link below. If you haven’t claimed your ticket you can do that but it’s so important, the questions that you are asking Andy in that thread I mean that’s where it begins. So again I really want to thank you for asking those questions and not giving up. It’s like okay somebody give me an answer, okay that’s good but now I’ve got three more questions.
Andy: You know, thank you because you provide the group and you provided this opportunity for me so I’m very grateful for that. I think I’m just doing whatever I think it takes because I am not giving up I mean this is it, this is what I got to do, right?
Melinda: And that’s a level of commitment so you can even speak to your own clients about this. Whenever I do an enrollment conversation another little thing that I love doing is I love saying on a scale of 1 to 10 how committed are you to making this change in your life?
Andy: Yeah, I do that too.
Melinda: I love scales, I love numbers, I love that kind of thing yeah because it cuts the emotion out and it’s like let’s get really clear real quick.
Andy: Quantification and hard core.
Melinda: Yeah, we are not messing around. And so you just said like you are a10 out of 10, I’m not giving up, I’m going to do whatever it takes. You are going to be so successful I already know that because you are going to do whatever it takes. Thank you for being in the group, thank you for asking the questions, thank you for being persistent and just thank you again for this time. I just thought this would be fun to kind of unpack it a little bit more and hopefully it was it was valuable.
Andy: It was.
Melinda: So if you are listening in to this, this is going to be posted on the Facebook and the Coaching Lifestyle. If you are listening in I’d love for you to post your favorite frames below. It’s one of the things that we do to wrap up. I do this with all my coaching clients at the end of every bootcamp session.
We do with our boot campers every time we have a team meeting it’s like what are your favorite frames. So Andy, I’m going to ask you, I’m putting you on the spot again, what is a favorite frame it doesn’t have to be the favorite frame but what’s a favorite frame, like a nugget or a gym or a takeaway that stood out from our conversation here?
Andy: I got a lot of positive confirmations of things I’ve learned along the way that I think I’m right. I think the latest big thing that I’ve learned that you have confirmed here on this call is that it takes consistent action and that kind of doing it half-assedly is not going to work for anyone.
Of course you’ve got to find out what makes sense to you and what kind of approaches resonates with you. But you’ve got to do some hustling and you got it you got to stick to it and you got to find out. You’ve got to make sure if it really works or it doesn’t. That was definitely a great takeaway for me.
Also the fact that you mentioned that it took you three months of working everyday for every week of three months. Having those really specific things like you just mentioned, really getting specific about it, I kind of loved that because it kind of gives me an idea of what to expect.
When you when you don’t know that you are like, shit, am I going to do this for a week or a year or two or what? So just getting those specifics down that’s invaluable so thank.
Melinda: My pleasure. And for everybody listening in, post your favorite frames below, I’d love to keep this conversation going. Or if you have additional questions from what Andy has shared or stuff that I’ve shared or whatever’s come up for you, post your questions below and we’ll kind of keep this dialogue going because this is where we all learn.
This where we learn together, it’s where we grow together and in this community, this collaboration this is where it happens. Not isolated, not hiding behind our computers but connecting together. So post your favorite frames, post your questions, claim your ticket if you haven’t.
I’m going to see you at the live event. We are going to dive into even more of this here early on in the year so that you feel confident about going through your whole year and getting results and doing the work you love. Andy, thank you again. I appreciate it. I will see you in the Facebook group. Keep us posted on your success and keep asking those question.
As you strive to build your coaching business, you may believe strategy is the most important component. Or, maybe you’re thinking it’s marketing or sales skills, or the coaching itself.
Well, I have news for you: the single most important component in building your business isn’t strategy or marketing or sales or even coaching.
Building your business is only 10% strategy and execution.
It’s 10% “connectedness,” or community.
And it’s 80% mindset. That’s right: a whopping 80%!
Now, you’ve probably begun to figure out that the journey of entrepreneurship is really a journey of personal development, because your business constantly requires you to learn and do new things. Which means it requires you to constantly step outside of your comfort zone. The journey of entrepreneurship is the path to you becoming the next greatest vision of the next grandest version you can have for yourself.
(Did you hear that? It was the sound of brakes squealing, of your momentum coming to a halt as you put your toe outside that imaginary circle marked Comfort Zone!)
But when you step outside of your comfort zone, you illuminate a gap between who you are right now and who you need to be in order for your desire, dream, or goal to become a reality.
It’s here that you must become profoundly comfortable with the discomfort of being an entrepreneur.
And it’s inside this space that you encounter thoughts, beliefs, and even other people who help shape you and remake you.
These things can be positive and inspiring (like mentors, processes, or information), or they can become voices in what I call The Itty Bitty Shitty Committee.
You may not have control over what the external voices say (I’m talking about your parents, your friends, your siblings, or those people on social media making judgments about you or your situation).
But you DO have control over those voices in your head … the ones that tell you there’s just too much to do, or you have to be perfect, or you’ll never be able to catch up with what you need to do.
These voices are internal blocks—what I call “villains.”
They can become so loud and strong that they actually stop you from pursuing your goal as things get messy outside your Comfort Zone. On the flip side, they often sneak up on you and sabotage your efforts without you even realizing it’s happening.
(You know this, right? Because you’re a coach, and you hold the space for your clients as they step outside their comfort zones!)
Today, I want to offer you some coaching.
I want to share with you one of my favorite techniques for overcoming these internal blocks, so you can cope with them and continue moving forward on this beautiful, fascinating journey of entrepreneurship.
It’s a three-step technique—and it’s fun!
Step 1. Become Aware of the Habits, Patterns, Actions, and Thoughts That Sabotage Your Success.
Most people go around unconscious of the habits, patterns, actions, and thoughts that are actually sabotaging their success. They do notice, however, the effects of those habits, patterns, actions, and thoughts. They feel cranky, overwhelmed, hopeless, worthless, scared or stuck, or they procrastinate or do projects over and over.
Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe you have a tendency to second-guess yourself or to put yourself down.
Take a moment to think about what’s going on in your own mind when you experience these feelings or situations. For example, as a recovering perfectionist, I used to believe I couldn’t put anything out into the world if it wasn’t perfect. Of course, this stopped me from making any forward progress (more on this in a minute).
Step 2. Release the Feelings That Accompany Those Habits, Patterns, Actions and Thoughts.
Once you reveal the habits, patterns, actions, and thoughts that you experience when you step outside of your comfort zone, you can begin to release the emotions behind them.
For example, as a recovering perfectionist, I had to work through my feelings of inadequacy.
The key here is to be gentle and loving with yourself; don’t blame yourself for the feelings.
Write down the feelings you’re experiencing when you fall into success-sabotaging habits, patterns, actions and thoughts. Then, think about how these feelings are working to keep you safely inside your comfort zone. Finally, thank each one for trying to keep you safe, and then release it. Tell it to have a nice vacation … that you’re going to take it from here.
Step 3. Replace Those Habits, Patterns, Actions, and Thoughts with New, Empowering Ones That Support Your Success.
Now that you’ve released the emotions that lead to success-sabotaging habits, patterns, actions, and thoughts, it’s time to create new habits, patterns, actions, and thoughts that support your success as you continue to step outside your comfort zone again and again—and closer to your dream.
You can do this by reframing (one of my favorite coaching skills!).
For example, whereas I once believed everything had to be perfect, I now look at every new project or task as an opportunity to research.
And I’m not always striving for perfection. Before we even begin, I assign each component of the project with a letter grade I deem acceptable, both in terms of our goals for that project and in terms of putting it out to our community.
For example, during our last launch, we were trying something brand new. I knew it wouldn’t necessarily earn an A grade, so I deemed a B- acceptable. If we could get that component out there at a B- level, we’d be successful at it.
In that same launch, we were re-doing all our free training content, and because it was training material, I wanted it to go out at an A level.
Then, as we went through the project and put out these components, if they didn’t turn out like I wanted or corrected, we evaluated why, and then made the course corrections accordingly.
Before you enter into a new project, set your expectations for each component. Using a grading system (A, B, or C) or numerical scale (1-5), determine what’s acceptable to you in terms of quality. This way, you know exactly what you’re striving for (and if it’s not perfection, that’s okay!). Then, reframe the situations that bring up success-sabotaging emotions. Can you look at these situations in a different way? For each of the emotions you experience, write down a new, success-supporting perspective.
Now, let’s have some fun!
Although I take business—my business and yours—very seriously, I like to deal with these success saboteurs in a fun, playful, cheeky way: in a way that removes the hold they can have over us.
That’s why I came up with The Coaches Console Villains and Superpowers, 13 pairs of habits, personified.
By calling attention to the success-sabotaging patterns and personifying them, we can tame them and put them in their place—using the success-supporting superpowers.
We’ll go into way more detail on this at Lifestyle LIVE! February 12-14 in Atlanta, but just to give you what you need to understand this concept, I wanted to share the Villain that hits me most often (like I said, I’m in recovery, but that doesn’t mean she’s not lurking around!).
My biggest villain is Perfect Portia.
As you probably guessed, she’s a perfectionist. She feels inadequate, makes countless revisions, and second-guesses her choices to the point that she’s paralyzed (analysis paralysis, anyone?).
But for all her negative traits, Perfect Portia is just trying to keep me safe. She’s trying to protect me from failure.
The good news is that there’s a superhero to counteract Perfect Portia.
Introducing Dr. Richard Research, who knows that every step along the entrepreneurial path is just that: another piece of research. Dr. Richard Research creates a plan, takes action, reviews the results, and makes the quick course corrections necessary to maintain forward momentum.
Don’t tell anyone, but I have kind of a crush on Dr. Richard Research. 😉
There are 12 other Villains that might be showing up in your business (and your life). And fortunately, there’s a Superhero to combat each one.
When you can consciously use Superheroes to conquer the Villains, you can begin to master your mindset—and because it’s the most important element in building your business, you can consciously make different choices, and achieve your vision for success.
As always, I’d love to hear from you on this. I haven’t yet revealed the secret identities of all of the Villains and Superheroes … but I’d love to hear how success-sabotaging habits show up in YOUR business.
For example, do you tend to procrastinate? Feel overwhelmed? Second-guess yourself? Give your services for free? Beat yourself up, emotionally? Compare yourself to others?
Comment below, and feel the freedom when you name the unspoken … let’s have some fun with this! I’ll respond personally!