From Overwhelm to Focused Action – and 40 New Clients! A Coaches Console Success Story.

A few short months ago, Michelle Lockhart envisioned being the owner of a coaching business that enabled her to coach clients to success.

And although she had tons of great ideas, she had no idea which steps to take, in which order, to make her vision reality.

So she came to The Coaches Console’s first-ever live event, Lifestyle LIVE! this past February … and she walked away with more than she ever imagined.

Her journey from being overwhelmed, frazzled, and struggling to getting clients to following a carefully-plotted plan to her dream business and confidently putting herself out there is so inspiring that I wanted to let Michelle share it in her own words… which is why I’d like to invite you to watch this video of a conversation we had recently:

Get Inspired!

Watch me interview Michelle above. She talks about specific things she changed and did that made ALL the difference in her landing 40 new clients in one conversation … and if you like what you hear, keep reading below to learn how you can implement what she did, too. And, just in case you’re not a video person, keep scrolling to read a transcript of our conversation.


As promised, here’s a transcript of my conversation with Michelle:

Michelle: Hello.

Melinda: Hello. How are you?

Michelle: I’m doing good. Doing really good.

Melinda: It’s good to see you again. Did you have a good weekend?

Michelle: Oh yeah, great weekend. Busy. I’ve got so much to do now. I thought I had a lot to do before I got clients.

Melinda: And then all the clients come, my goodness!

Michelle: And it’s like oh, now I have to do something?

Melinda: That a fun problem to have.

Michelle: Yeah, it is. It’s great. It really is.

Melinda: I know you are busy and I know you’ve got a lot going on but I thank you for popping on here real quick with me. When Jackie shared with me what all of you have going on and when we talked last week I was like wow! Like I was just thinking about the song that we played, This Girl Is On Fire, at the event, and I was like, she is living that song right now.

Michelle: Yeah, that’s been crazy. It’s been great.

Melinda: I love it. I just want to dive right in and I just want to kind of set context. Before Lifestyle Live and before all this fun-ness started happening with the clients and everything, what was it before? What was it like before with getting clients or having clients? Help me understand where you were.

Michelle: Okay. Before I went to Lifestyle Live I started in about September and I was like in this complete—I was the Oliver Overwhelm, totally. I had all these ideas and all of this stuff that I wanted to do. In my head I knew what I wanted to do and then I would talk to people and they’d say, so tell me what it is you do and I’d be like blah, blah.

I know what I want to do. I can’t really explain. And they’d say, what do you need to do next? I have no idea. I just have this idea of where I want to be in the future. I had about five or six individual clients that I was coaching and I was doing really well with them and they were enjoying it and we were having a lot of success.

But I was having a hard time with processing how do I put this all together? And then I found Coaches Console and that was really helpful to be able to organize everything and be able to shoot things out to people and that kind of thing but I wasn’t using it for any advertising or anything like that. And then I saw the Lifestyle Live and I’m like that is totally what I need.

And so as soon as I got to Lifestyle Live I was like, okay, they are going to show me how to use Coaches Console. That’s what I thought it was going to be. And then I got there and I’m like, oh my gosh, this is so much better, so much better. So I listened to everything, I wrote everything in my notebook. I took notes all over the place.

When I got on the plane to come home I went through my notebook and I wrote out, okay this is my plan and these are my goals. Then I took the next two weeks and I got a great big notebook, great, big huge sheets of paper and I wrote out my five steps and I made columns and I’m like what is the process for each of these steps?

Melinda: Oh, the five steps like when I was on stage, like the client success path? Those are the five steps?

Michelle: Right, the success path, yeah.

Melinda: Oh okay so like from Pain Island, get off of Pain Island onto Pleasure Island.

Michelle: I had done that on the plane. I did like the Pain Island on the plane and the Pleasure Island. And so I did this big model and the columns I did like what’s the process, and then what do I need to facilitate this process? What do I need to get done, and what’s the timeframe for me and what’s the timeframe for the client, and then how much does that cost me? How much does this step cost me?

Melinda: To help the client when they take this first step, to support them, to get that experience? So you kind of reverse engineered everything that needed to be behind that person taking that step.

Michelle: Right, exactly.

Melinda: Okay, wow!

Michelle: And then I had had a couple of people that had talked to me and were interested but I couldn’t articulate what it was that I did so they are just like, oh okay. So I’m like, okay, I’ve got this. I’ve got it in my head. I’ve got it on paper. I know what I’m doing now. I just got on the phone and just started calling all of these contacts and I’m like I know what I’m doing now.

Melinda: Wow! So before people would say what do you do and you kind of alluded to this blah, blah just kind of, who knows what comes off of your mouth? It’s like you can hear yourself thinking what you want to say. It’s like when I sing. Like in my head I’m a great singer. When I actually sing I’m like, oh, that’s not exactly what that was. That didn’t work so well.

Michelle: Right, and I think most of it was because I didn’t have it organized in my head. I had the end. What I wanted to take my clients to to the end but I didn’t have any process to get there, and I would tend to go in and I’m like, I can do this, and this and this and like I said, I was the boat and I was sinking it. I was the Titanic and the people were riding away in the life raft, you know?

Melinda: Get me out of here!

Michelle: I was just verbalizing everything that I was going to do. Then it was like now I’m focusing on you. This is what will happen for you. Instead of what I’m doing, this is what you will do and what your company will do.

So when I went in I thought I was going in and that we were just going to be talking to the owner of the business but instead he brought all the employees in so this presentation was in front of all the employees that he wanted to sign up for the program.

Melinda: And this business owner is that what you said you started making a lot of calls and that was one of the business owners. He was already on your contact list and you picked up the phone, you started calling, he’s one of them, he’s like yeah, let’s meet. So you thought you are meeting with him.

Michelle: But when I started articulating to him what it was that I could do for him, he’s like oh yeah, let’s meet.

Melinda: Isn’t that interesting? It’s like oh. It’s also interesting you talked about being an Oliver Overwhelm, one of the villains that we talked about. While you are talking about the boat and it’s like, here is what I can do for you, it’s kind of like that roleplay that we did at the event where Kate was like, oh my gosh, I can do this, and then I can do this.

And then I can help you with this and then I’ve got this you can do and it was like what? And so now all of a sudden we are making them be overwhelmed, so like you said, they are driving away on the life boats, they are like get me out of here. This girl is crazy. And our enthusiasm is like a fire hydrant, fire hose.

Michelle: Exactly.

Melinda: So now you’ve articulated here are the Pain Island challenges here are the Pleasure Island results, which you knew this all the way but what made the difference is that client success path. It’s like, here’s the overarching steps, and then the reverse for me.

Michelle: Right and getting that clear for me.

Melinda: Yeah, so keep talking about that process. So you got that big notepad.

Michelle: I got the big chart, yeah.

Melinda: Yeah, and frame that. Take that and frame it. Like right now, I don’t know if you can see up there.

Michelle: Oh yeah, your napkin.

Melinda: Yeah, my napkin. Like those monumental things, frame those and keep them because it reminds you of what’s happening right now so you never forget it.

Michelle: Right.

Melinda: Okay, so talk more about that, the big notebook and what you organized.

Michelle: So as I wrote it down, I put down all the processes, all the things that I wanted the client to go through in that section and I named each of the steps. Now I’m working on typing up like a weekly type of what kinds of things should I expect my clients to be going through each week?

Mine is nutrition and I take them through diet change and we move them through into it and a completely different lifestyle of eating and so there is the mindset that has to happen, changing mindset, changing behaviors and all of that.

And so once I got that down now I’m able to take each individual part and actually put it into a process of its own so it’s now fanning out. So when I went to the presentation and I addressed their pain and I addressed their pleasure, and they had everybody who was in the room sign up with me.

Melinda: And how many people was that Michele?

Michelle: I haven’t gotten all their information yet but I’m thinking they are between 35 and 40.

Melinda: Wow! So you picked up the phone, you think you are having a meeting with one guy and lo and behold now he’s like no, no, no, you are going to be coaching these 35 to 40, somewhere in there people.

Michelle: Right.

Melinda: And you know what’s interesting is you were talking at the event one of the things that you wanted to know more how to do was how to scale. Like how do I scale this? Like I’ve got a few clients here and there, but how do I scale this? And what I love when I heard this information I was like oh my gosh, I have got to talk to her is that clarity and that confidence. The scaling was just an effortless byproduct, it just happened.

Michelle: Right. Yeah, and that was on Thursday and Friday. Another one of them that I called, I went in to talk to him and he’s hired me as well. So he’s hired me for himself and he wants me put together an executive package for all of the VPs and the presidents of his company and he’s talking to me about putting together a kids’ camp where we do an executive program and those executives help pay for kids.

Melinda: Oh my gosh!

Michelle: So I woke up in the middle of the night and I’m like I have this idea and I had to come down and write down this whole, so I’ve got him a whole outline for his kids camp for this summer.

Melinda: And now it’s the same process.

Michelle: I did the exact same thing.

Melinda: Pain Island, Pleasure Island, client success path, what are the overarching steps and then reverse engineer it.

Michelle: Exactly and he told me exactly what he wants these kids to learn and he’s like put it into a process and we’ll get back together next week.

Melinda: Hi five girl, hi five. That is awesome. Well I am really glad that you showed up at Lifestyle Live.

Michelle: Oh, me too. It’s like game changer, total game changer.

Melinda: Yeah and I said this at the event, there is only so much that I can do. I can show you information. I can give you handouts, I can walk you through scenarios but you have to do the work, and that’s what I really love about you. I mean you, right out of the gate you are on the plane coming home and you are like, okay, we are not messing around, we are doing this.

And you did the work that was necessarily to do and look, just in less than a week, in a week, this has happened and that is so awesome. I wanted to share, when I called you last week and I was like I have got to talk to her, this is so cool I got off the phone and I thought of something that I wanted to share with you.

You certainly don’t need me to share this because what you’ve got going on is working really well and when I map out that client success path here is something that I take myself through to help. It’s like okay, here is the first step. Now let’s detail everything out. Here is the second step, let’s detail everything out.

One of the things that I ask myself is and like I’ve got this space in my office where there is just an open area. Because if you remember when I was on stage I would start at Pleasure Island then I was like okay, let’s take the first step. And I would get in my body as if I was those clients and I’d be like, let’s be them.

And so I always ask in that first step, what are they thinking, what are they feeling, what are they saying? Like what kind of words are coming out of their mouths? What are the actions that they are doing? And so I try to just put myself in their shoes thinking, saying, feeling, doing, and sometimes I’ll even ask, what kind of resources are they using or not using?

When I ask that question it helps flush those details out a little bit more. And really what it helps me is to identify potential pitfalls that might show up along the way and it’s like oh wait, in step three, this is going to start happening. So what can we do to make sure they keep momentum going or what can I provide?

Is there a resource I can provide or is there a handout I can create or an exercise I can take them through to keep the momentum going? I just wanted to share that with you. It sounds like in the detailing like you are doing a lot of that already but that helps me to fine tune.

It’s like what we do in bootcamp and for the accelerators and with my own clients. It fills these small little gaps. And some of it you may not know until you get through it and you are like oh, good to know, look at this pattern that’s showing up and then you can add it to your big notepad.

Michelle: One of the other things that was huge for me at Lifestyle Live was that I kept feeling like I can’t roll anything out until it is perfected and that research piece to me was just eye opening to be able to say all of this is just research and I just can go into it and I will write down what works, write down what doesn’t work, change what didn’t work and make it into something that’s going to work.

That thought of this is never a done product. This is never a done deal. We are going to continually change it. I’m going to continually change what I offer and how I offer it and how I work and to have that mindset instead of this one and done perfected thing that goes out into the world that was a huge mind shift for me too because I was working way too hard to make it perfect before I’d even tried it out.

Melinda: Right, yeah. And then once we have that aha it’s like well how can I even make it perfect? There is so much information I don’t have. Like we haven’t gone through the experience, so their actions, their experience hasn’t informed me but we usually can’t think that thought until we are on the other side of it.

But that’s why I love just envisioning ourselves as a researcher. We’ve got the white lab coats on, our little notebooks and it’s like okay. And that’s something that we do, so I’d encourage you to do this as well. Like you’ve got this project with these 35 to 40 people and I’m guessing it’s going to take some kind of timeframe that you are going to be with these people.

Michelle: Right, a year.

Melinda: Yeah, so a year. One of the things that we do with all of our projects whether it’s a small project or a big project before the project starts, we always schedule the debrief, right? The power is in the debrief. That’s where you get to really garner the research.

And so like this coming Wednesday we have our internal debrief with our whole team about Lifestyle Live and we are going to ask three questions; what worked really well, what didn’t work and then this is my favorite question, what will we do differently next time?

That keeps me in research mode because it’s easy to say what didn’t work and it can be easy to get stuck in, oh gosh, I failed or I let them down or who am I to think that like all those villains can start creeping in. But when you immediately go to what will I do differently, now you get back into research mode.

Michelle: Yeah, into that creative energy.

Melinda: Exactly. So if you are going to be with them a year you might even want to do a mid-point or every three or four months, quarterly. It’s like let’s research this together so that you are always putting together what you need and fine-tuning and the same with the kids camp.

Michelle: Right and I want to put this together so that I can replicate it and be able to move it to the next company and the next group.

Melinda: That is beautiful, and that’s what we did with bootcamp. We started Boot Camp because we were working with individual clients and we were doing the research and we were like wow, look at all these same patterns.

So then we were able to identify the client success path for a bootcamper and then instead of working with four or five or six people at a time, we started working with 30 people at a time. And then it’s like once we did that for a little bit and we fine-tuned it even more now we work with 100 or 200 or 400 people at a time in that same process.

And so now talk about scaling, once you have that process now it’s easy to bring more people into. And I love the confidence that you have it’s like oh my gosh. This is what I do. Here is actually what you do. Here is your challenge. Here is your result and here is the process, and they are like, please sign me up for that.

Michelle: Right. It was super easy. They were like, okay yeah, but that’s great.

Melinda: Yeah and now you are in total control because you can put your foot on the gas and be like all right, let’s work with more people or you can say, whoa! I’m good for now so you can let off the gas a little bit. And now you are in charge of the business you create and the lifestyle you create and it’s beautiful.

Michelle: I’m super excited. Super excited.

Melinda: Me too. I am so excited for you.

Michelle: And this is the first time that I really honestly felt like I can do this. Before it was this I hope I can do this. I think I can do this, I’ve got great ideas but I kept saying I’m not a businesswoman. I’m a nurse. I’m a coach. And now it’s like, I own a business and I happen to coach and be a nurse in my business.

And that makes a huge difference to own that. I’m a business owner and so I need to behave like a business owner when I’m in that mode and not be the coach who is like, well how do you feel about it?

But say here I am, on business this is what we are going to do, and then switch to coach when it’s time to coach. So that again, there was just so many moments through the whole couple of days that was just like, yes, I need that or yes I need that.

Melinda: Beautiful. Well I love how you took all those nuggets from the event, put it together and then in a very short time implemented what you got from the event and look at what’s already happening. And this is just the beginning.

Michelle: I am certain of that.

Melinda: Yes. Well, Michelle thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for popping in here. I think it’s going to be contagious. I know a lot of people and what you just said I know I can do this. I said that at the event, like that is really what stops most people is they start thinking they can’t do it.

Michelle: Right. That’s what was going on with me.

Melinda: You were experiencing the same thing and that’s what I see over and over. It’s not strategy. It’s not marketing. It’s they start believing they can’t do this which is why I was like, I’ve got to call her because this is awesome. So thank you for being that inspiration to yourself and to what I think is going to be so many people, and you have to keep us posted.

Michelle: Okay I will.

Melinda: Like with the kids retreat and with everything else and so share your celebrations with us regularly.

Michelle: Thank you. I appreciate you.

Melinda: Awesome. Thank you Michelle. We’ll talk soon. All right.

Michelle: Okay. Thanks. Bye bye.

Selling Your Services: The #1 Mistake Coaches Make During Enrollment Conversations

The client journey—from lead to prospect to client, and all the steps in between—comprises several stages. The first happens when you attract that lead. Now that you’ve seen our lead generation funnel diagram (if you haven’t seen it yet, grab it here), you may be taking a bit of a breather to bask in the relief of knowing how to begin finding leads you don’t already know. Ahhh. That feels good!


All right, it’s time to stop basking, and consider your next step.

Once you’ve attracted a lead, and nurtured him or her into being a prospect, it’s time for the sample session. This isn’t just any coaching session. This is a specifically designed conversation that has coaching in it of course. But the real conversation you’re having is an enrollment conversation. You probably know an enrollment conversation should give prospects a taste of the transformation that’s possible when you work together. And if you don’t, we’ll we have some resources for that as well.

But there’s one other major job an enrollment conversation has, and that is to convert prospects to clients. To get that “yes.”

It’s not to provide great coaching! Yes, there is great coaching within the conversation, but the major job is to convert prospects to their yes! If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a million times: a smart, talented coach making this one critical mistake during enrollment conversations that I’m about to share with you. This mistake sabotages your chances of enrolling people into your programs, and stops you from making the impact and profit you want to make with your coaching business. And if you’ve ever answered, “I’m a coach,” when someone asks you what you do … or explained which assessments you use to determine someone’s personality … or talked only about the packages you offer … or done a lot of great coaching, providing great value, but the person still didn’t hire you … Then you’ve made this mistake!

You see, people aren’t buying your services. Nobody buys a coaching program or a series of phone calls. Let me repeat that: Nobody buys a coaching program or a series of phone calls.

I know that might hurt to hear, but it’s the truth you need to know if you want to get clients! People don’t buy coaching.


What do they buy? A transformation.

So, if you’re explaining your packages, programs, and services rather than showcasing the transformation your coaching provides, then you’re leaving money on the table and opportunities at the door and you’re working way harder than you have to. By now, you’ve probably heard me say that I never want to hear you say you’re a coach. You may be thinking, “Wait. But I am a coach! So what do I say when someone asks me what I do?” To illustrate, I’d like to share my Pain Island/Pleasure Island Diagram. On one side, you’ll see Pain Island, which is where your clients are, now, along with the biggest challenges they’re facing, where they’re stuck and what’s keeping them up at night when they can’t sleep. On the other side, Pleasure Island, where your clients want to be, along with the results they want, their goals—their deepest desires. And in the middle: the boat. The boat is a visual representation of your packages, programs, and services. It’s the vehicle by which your clients will get from Pain Island (out of the challenges and stuck spots they’re facing) to Pleasure Island (getting their desired goals and results). This is where I want to caution you: don’t sell the boat!

Repeat after me: “DON’T SELL THE BOAT!”

You see, selling the boat—telling prospects about your services—isn’t effective, because people don’t buy services! They buy a transformation.


So what DO you sell?

You sell the transformation—the results and experiences they desire once they arrive on Pleasure Island.

That way, you’re inviting people to step into your boat, by focusing on the transformation your clients will experience when they do! Then, you present yourself, your packages, and your programs as the solution to reaching that transformation and their results. The enrollment conversation then can be structured into three sections:

Helping the prospect get CLEAR on Pain Island and Pleasure Island and how it’s impacting their life.

Helping your prospect define their COMMITMENT level to taking the journey.

Presenting your CHOICES of packages, offerings, and so on.

Here are some examples of the transformation some entrepreneurs provide:

A tennis coach who works with tennis players who want to serve better and win games might say, “I help tennis players improve their serves, so they can win their matches and tournaments.”

A specialty dog trainer might say, “I help dog owners train their dogs effectively, so they can live in harmony with their furry friends.”

Here at TCC, we say, “We help start-up coaches systemize their businesses, so they can get more clients and make more money and make an impact.”

So now that you understand what we mean by “selling the journey,” let’s apply your new knowledge to your specific situation. Below, we’ve created a worksheet designed to help you identify your clients’ Pain Island challenges, the Pleasure Island results they desire, and how to talk about your role in their journey from Pain Island to Pleasure Island … so they can’t wait to work with you!


Worksheet

4 Questions to Nail Your Niche

Ask the following questions; the answers you record will help you identify your ideal prospects’ top challenges and desires—and the best way to describe how you can help them get from Pain Island to Pleasure Island. What are the top three challenges your clients experience? What are the thoughts that keep them up at night? 

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How is this impacting their life? In what ways do their challenges have a negative impact on their life? 

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What are your client’s top three greatest desires in terms of solving these challenges? Which are the specific results they want? If they had a magic wand and money was no object, what are the things they yearn for? What do they want to be, do, experience, or have in this area? 

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When your clients achieve those results or desires you mentioned in your answer to the previous question, how will they FEEL? How will this positively impact their life? 

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With these answers, you’ve narrowed in on your ideal prospects’ Pain Island challenges and Pleasure Island results. Now, you can fill in this template to answer the question:

“So … what do you do?”

“Through my [INSERT DESCRIPTION OF SERVICES, i.e. “Coaching”], I help [INSERT IDEAL CLIENT] stop [INSERT PAIN ISLAND CHALLENGE] and start experiencing [INSERT PLEASURE ISLAND RESULTS].”


See what you just did there?

Instead of selling the boat—or your services—you’re positioning or presenting and selling a transformation … and your ideal clients will be happy to get on board because they want what you’re offering—the result! Now, if while working through this exercise, you’ve thought about your enrollment conversations, because you think you’ve made this “selling the boat” mistake during those conversations, too, I have something special for you! Check out this crazy, funny video of an enrollment conversation role-playing exercise I did with my Coaches Console co-founder Kate Steinbacher at our Lifestyle LIVE! event in February. We had this conversation to illustrate where enrollment conversations often go wrong … it’s actually hilarious, and you’ll have a good laugh! Check out how Kate (playing the coach) did her best to “sell” herself to me (playing the client) … and it’s okay if you laugh out loud. We know you’re not laughing at us … you’re laughing with us! 😉

Have YOU Ever Said These Things During An Enrollment Conversation?

The #1 Mistake Coaches Make During Enrollment Conversations

Enrollment conversations can be tricky! We SO get it.

If, as a coach with a heart for making an impact, you go into an enrollment conversation feeling like you’re having a sales conversation, you may feel uncomfortable.

In fact, things might go south, very quickly.

To illustrate what sometimes happens to coaches during enrollment conversations, my friend Kate Steinbacher, co-founder of The Coaches Console, and I put on a little demonstration this past February, during Lifestyle LIVE! our first-ever live event.

It was so well received by our audience members—coaches who could see themselves in Kate’s wonderful (funny) role-playing—that I decided to share it with you. (Ok, really, it’s pretty hilarious!)

It’s all about the one main mistake coaches make during enrollment conversations—and, of course, how to avoid it.

Watch it here:

When watch the video, you’ll be able to see where Kate goes wrong, and how Melinda, who’s playing the part of a potential client—struggles to see what kind of transformation might be possible through coaching with Kate.

We’ve seen this exact thing happen to so many brilliant, talented coaches—coaches who have so much to offer but who make one major mistake that stops them from being able to share their gifts.

The awesome news—once you watch the video, you’ll know how to communicate with your prospects!

How to be seen in your business… even as an introvert like me!

Melinda: Hey, good morning! You know I do these Facebook lives and I do a lot of trainings on a regular basis. And one of the things that’s always interesting is when I tell people that I’m an introvert. They’re like “There’s no way you’re an introvert. It can’t be possible! You’re always out there, you’re always on the on Facebook, you’re always doing trainings, you love being on stage. Like, how can you be an introvert?” And it’s true, I am an introvert. And so I want to share with you how you can be seen in your business even if you’re an introvert. Because I find that a majority of the entrepreneurs out there are introverts.

Now I probably fall on the scale of being more in the middle, like I don’t know if I’m an introvert and extrovert, or the most outgoing introvert. I don’t know… But what I do know is that as an
introvert I have got to find time, create time, and make time for renewal in a quiet place alone. Maybe with my husband because he’s also an introvert. But I can put myself out there and you can too! We just have to really pay attention about how we refuel.

So when to give you some insights today that helped me, as an introvert, to put myself out there constantly in my business. Because that’s where the magic happens, right? You can’t stay hidden behind your computer at the safety of your desk! You got to get out there if you want to share your message and help people that you’re meant to serve!

So the first thing that I’m crystal clear on is “why”. Why do I do this every day? Like the great big “why”, not so I can get clients and make money. I would call that a pretty decent “why”, but when you get those clients and make that money, what is that gonna mean to you? And keep really digging in to identify your “why”. When you know your “why” it is a pull and a calling that helps you overcome so many challenges, and frustrations, and fears, and doubts. It just kind of minimizes them and put some in perspective. So when I remember why I’m doing this – because I want to help other entrepreneurs and coaches live the life of their dreams, live their full potential – and I have the ability to help them do that, I’ve got tools and resources and an insight that can help them. So I got to figure out how to get myself out there.

And then to know your people, know your tribe, know your community, know what their challenges and their struggles are know, what their yearning desires and deep goals and dreams are. When you know this you can have massive compassion for them, and it really helps you to kind of set your fears aside or any doubts you might have, and be like “you know what? It’s all about them. It’s not about me”.

So that’s as an introvert. I always make it about them. Before I start a Facebook live, I envision who am I talking to, not just an audience of people, but very specific people, like “Patty’s on the line. I’d be talking to Patty right now.” And I envision there’s one or two or three people that I’m talking to, to help communicate something to them. So it takes it from this great big audience, down to a very intimate conversation that a lot of people get to have privy to, right? So make it about them, and that becomes fuel that helps you to overcome those fears and doubts. It’s like “you know what? I’m super nervous, I don’t know if I’m good at this, I don’t know if I can do this, but I’m going to because I have information that will help somebody else on their journey. And that’s what love to do. I love to help people be their best and do their best.”

The other thing that I do is refuel regularly. This is so important for an introvert! In fact, I start my day, I don’t refuel, I start by getting fueled up. And I take this so seriously, and I think this is one of my secret weapons: I have anywhere from a three to four hour window in the morning for my rituals, my morning ritual with my husband, and I’m getting ready for work and getting ready for the day. And it’s very intentional, where we’re working out, I’m doing meditating, I’m making sure I’ve got a good breakfast, my green smoothie that I make every morning. So I’m filling up my physical body, my mental body, my emotional body, my energetic body. I’m filling it to the place of overflow so that I can give of the overflow right when I first get started. When you’re fully fueled and charged, and you’re working on all cylinders, it’s a lot easier to put yourself out there. Your fears don’t they don’t have the hold on you because you’ve got the energy to move through those fears and doubts.

So start by fueling yourself now. This takes discipline. Took me years to get to this and yes, I know you’re saying “but I have kids, and I’ve got little ones, and they’re going to school.” And that’s true! And I understand that. I had step kids I was getting ready for school, making those lunches, taking them to school. All that stuff happened. And you figure it out. Because you prioritize yourself. That’s a big deal right there: you prioritize yourself and your self-care so that, not only can you start your day from a place of fueled up, but then throughout the day, I take little refuel breaks. And it might be just five minutes where I go out back and walk around in the backyard with the sun, get a little bit of vitamin D, a little bit of recharge. It might be that I go and, you know, one of my indulgences is NCIS. I might go sit and watch one episode and I just completely disconnect. Or I might go on a walk, or I might go get a Starbucks, or get a manicure, take a nap. Doesn’t have to be big or extravagant, but how can you refuel in little snippets and pockets throughout the day. It keeps your energy up so that you can give from that overflow continuously.

And then the last thing that I like to do is when I’m going to events, whether it’s a networking event, or a party, or a gathering, or whatever it might be, doing a training, being on stage, whatever it is, I like to set intentions. Like “what are my intentions?” And I try not to get too big with them, right? If I’m gonna go to, like at my mastermind when there’s 50 of us, it’s like “okay, we can do this.” And I really set my intention. I was like “I want to connect with two people while I’m here.” And I get super focused. So when I get in it doesn’t seem overwhelming that I’ve got to connect with everybody. It’s like, “I’m gonna connect with two people”. Or if I’m in a networking event it’s like “you know what? I want to have five conversations and get five business cards. Or get ten people to enroll into my lead magnet.” Whatever it is, I set my intentions so that I don’t have to feel, like “oh my gosh! I’ve got to talk to everybody here”. And then I can be conscious and diligent about how I move through this space. So those are some of my secrets to how I, as an introvert, put myself out there on a regular basis. I hope that’s helped you.

Now one of the last thing that I do is – I usually have. I call it a wingwoman, accountability partner, a friend, a colleague, whatever you want to call it. And I have that person that I share my intentions with if I’m going to an event, or a networking event. And we partner up beforehand and it’s like “this is what I want to get out of the event.” And we tell each other that, we go to the event and we help each other. And so if I have a wingwoman, like Patty let’s say, you’re my wing woman, and we go to a networking event, you might know John and you bring him over to introduce him to me. So I don’t have to put forth all that effort as an introvert to go over aintroduce myself, right? So that having a wing woman, or that accountability partner along with you really helps to put yourself out there.

So I’m gonna keep this series going because I hear a lot about “how do I put myself out there, how do I be seen, I’m an introvert, it’s really hard.” So I’m gonna kind of dissect this and several of these Facebook lives. But if you’re an introvert, I’d love for you to comment below. What’s one of the tips that helps you put yourself out there in your business? Comment below and let’s collectively create this for all the introverted entrepreneurs out there, so that we can get our message out there, so we can be seen, so we can serve the people waiting for the solutions and resources that we have for them.

I believe in you. I know you can do this! I’m so proud of you! And post below. I want to hear what you got to share on this topic.

Automatically Change Your Mind for Success!

Transcript:

Good morning!

I want to share with you one of the easiest ways that you can automatically change your mind for success. I’m actually not gonna talk about mindset or thinking or anything like that. I want to share with you a tool that, when you use this, gives you direct connection to a clear, conscious mind.

A lot of times, the reason why we get stuck or find challenges is because we’re living too far into the future: What should I do? What could I do? Is this the right choice? Is that the wrong choice? Or we’re contemplating about what we did or did not do in the past: I should have done this. If I could have done that. I would have done. Shoulda, coulda, woulda… and all that stuff. And it gets us in the past, in the future, and it’s like a tug of war, and we don’t go anywhere.

To change your mind for success you first have to come back to the present moment. In the present moment, with a clear mind, grounded in your truth – whatever that it means for you – from that place you can change your thoughts. What you think about is what you create in your world. Thoughts become things. And then when you can align your words, your actions, your energy, and your emotions with those thoughts – now you’re consciously creating! That’s the place you want to create success in your business or any aspect of your life, whether it’s with your spouse, whether it’s with your children and family, relationships, any job you might have. Whatever it is, having that clarity of mind is where is where it all begins.

So here’s a quick tool that you can use if you’re driving in your car, if you’re on a train, if you’re sitting at your desk, working in and struggling with the project, or wherever you might be, going on a walk – people don’t even know you’re doing it – it’s that cool and that easy to grab. And it goes like this: it’s called “the four-seven-eight breath”. And dr. Andrew Weil is the one that really kind of brought this to the fruition. He’s a Harvard medically trained doctor that really focuses on holistic practices.

And this “four-seven-eight breath” is a simple technique. Now it’s based on the ancient Indian approach, and it goes like this: so you just completely exhale, and then you inhale through your nose with a closed mouth for the count of four; you then hold that breath for the count of seven; and then you exhale making that “whoosh” sound for the count of eight. By doing this a few times – it doesn’t take much; maybe two-three times – by doing this (it’s also known as “the relaxing breath”) it relaxes you. You’ll notice that your shoulders melt away from your ears, you actually have space here so that you can breathe properly. A lot of us just have shallow breathing, and we sometimes when we’re at our desk we don’t breathe for extended periods of time. And this only increases our stress.

When we can practice this conscious breathing we can relax our bodies, relax our mind, get us connected to the moment right now, clear our mind and instantly begin to thin new thoughts to co-create for success. That’s what I want for you, so I want to share this tool with you to make sure you’re practicing it on a regular daily basis. Enjoy, and post your comments below for after you do this. What did you notice? What did you feel in your body? What did you notice about your mind? I’d love to hear it comment below and let me know.