Melinda: Hey, good morning! You know I do these Facebook lives and I do a lot of trainings on a regular basis. And one of the things that’s always interesting is when I tell people that I’m an introvert. They’re like “There’s no way you’re an introvert. It can’t be possible! You’re always out there, you’re always on the on Facebook, you’re always doing trainings, you love being on stage. Like, how can you be an introvert?” And it’s true, I am an introvert. And so I want to share with you how you can be seen in your business even if you’re an introvert. Because I find that a majority of the entrepreneurs out there are introverts.
Now I probably fall on the scale of being more in the middle, like I don’t know if I’m an introvert and extrovert, or the most outgoing introvert. I don’t know… But what I do know is that as an
introvert I have got to find time, create time, and make time for renewal in a quiet place alone. Maybe with my husband because he’s also an introvert. But I can put myself out there and you can too! We just have to really pay attention about how we refuel.
So when to give you some insights today that helped me, as an introvert, to put myself out there constantly in my business. Because that’s where the magic happens, right? You can’t stay hidden behind your computer at the safety of your desk! You got to get out there if you want to share your message and help people that you’re meant to serve!
So the first thing that I’m crystal clear on is “why”. Why do I do this every day? Like the great big “why”, not so I can get clients and make money. I would call that a pretty decent “why”, but when you get those clients and make that money, what is that gonna mean to you? And keep really digging in to identify your “why”. When you know your “why” it is a pull and a calling that helps you overcome so many challenges, and frustrations, and fears, and doubts. It just kind of minimizes them and put some in perspective. So when I remember why I’m doing this – because I want to help other entrepreneurs and coaches live the life of their dreams, live their full potential – and I have the ability to help them do that, I’ve got tools and resources and an insight that can help them. So I got to figure out how to get myself out there.
And then to know your people, know your tribe, know your community, know what their challenges and their struggles are know, what their yearning desires and deep goals and dreams are. When you know this you can have massive compassion for them, and it really helps you to kind of set your fears aside or any doubts you might have, and be like “you know what? It’s all about them. It’s not about me”.
So that’s as an introvert. I always make it about them. Before I start a Facebook live, I envision who am I talking to, not just an audience of people, but very specific people, like “Patty’s on the line. I’d be talking to Patty right now.” And I envision there’s one or two or three people that I’m talking to, to help communicate something to them. So it takes it from this great big audience, down to a very intimate conversation that a lot of people get to have privy to, right? So make it about them, and that becomes fuel that helps you to overcome those fears and doubts. It’s like “you know what? I’m super nervous, I don’t know if I’m good at this, I don’t know if I can do this, but I’m going to because I have information that will help somebody else on their journey. And that’s what love to do. I love to help people be their best and do their best.”
The other thing that I do is refuel regularly. This is so important for an introvert! In fact, I start my day, I don’t refuel, I start by getting fueled up. And I take this so seriously, and I think this is one of my secret weapons: I have anywhere from a three to four hour window in the morning for my rituals, my morning ritual with my husband, and I’m getting ready for work and getting ready for the day. And it’s very intentional, where we’re working out, I’m doing meditating, I’m making sure I’ve got a good breakfast, my green smoothie that I make every morning. So I’m filling up my physical body, my mental body, my emotional body, my energetic body. I’m filling it to the place of overflow so that I can give of the overflow right when I first get started. When you’re fully fueled and charged, and you’re working on all cylinders, it’s a lot easier to put yourself out there. Your fears don’t they don’t have the hold on you because you’ve got the energy to move through those fears and doubts.
So start by fueling yourself now. This takes discipline. Took me years to get to this and yes, I know you’re saying “but I have kids, and I’ve got little ones, and they’re going to school.” And that’s true! And I understand that. I had step kids I was getting ready for school, making those lunches, taking them to school. All that stuff happened. And you figure it out. Because you prioritize yourself. That’s a big deal right there: you prioritize yourself and your self-care so that, not only can you start your day from a place of fueled up, but then throughout the day, I take little refuel breaks. And it might be just five minutes where I go out back and walk around in the backyard with the sun, get a little bit of vitamin D, a little bit of recharge. It might be that I go and, you know, one of my indulgences is NCIS. I might go sit and watch one episode and I just completely disconnect. Or I might go on a walk, or I might go get a Starbucks, or get a manicure, take a nap. Doesn’t have to be big or extravagant, but how can you refuel in little snippets and pockets throughout the day. It keeps your energy up so that you can give from that overflow continuously.
And then the last thing that I like to do is when I’m going to events, whether it’s a networking event, or a party, or a gathering, or whatever it might be, doing a training, being on stage, whatever it is, I like to set intentions. Like “what are my intentions?” And I try not to get too big with them, right? If I’m gonna go to, like at my mastermind when there’s 50 of us, it’s like “okay, we can do this.” And I really set my intention. I was like “I want to connect with two people while I’m here.” And I get super focused. So when I get in it doesn’t seem overwhelming that I’ve got to connect with everybody. It’s like, “I’m gonna connect with two people”. Or if I’m in a networking event it’s like “you know what? I want to have five conversations and get five business cards. Or get ten people to enroll into my lead magnet.” Whatever it is, I set my intentions so that I don’t have to feel, like “oh my gosh! I’ve got to talk to everybody here”. And then I can be conscious and diligent about how I move through this space. So those are some of my secrets to how I, as an introvert, put myself out there on a regular basis. I hope that’s helped you.
Now one of the last thing that I do is – I usually have. I call it a wingwoman, accountability partner, a friend, a colleague, whatever you want to call it. And I have that person that I share my intentions with if I’m going to an event, or a networking event. And we partner up beforehand and it’s like “this is what I want to get out of the event.” And we tell each other that, we go to the event and we help each other. And so if I have a wingwoman, like Patty let’s say, you’re my wing woman, and we go to a networking event, you might know John and you bring him over to introduce him to me. So I don’t have to put forth all that effort as an introvert to go over aintroduce myself, right? So that having a wing woman, or that accountability partner along with you really helps to put yourself out there.
So I’m gonna keep this series going because I hear a lot about “how do I put myself out there, how do I be seen, I’m an introvert, it’s really hard.” So I’m gonna kind of dissect this and several of these Facebook lives. But if you’re an introvert, I’d love for you to comment below. What’s one of the tips that helps you put yourself out there in your business? Comment below and let’s collectively create this for all the introverted entrepreneurs out there, so that we can get our message out there, so we can be seen, so we can serve the people waiting for the solutions and resources that we have for them.
I believe in you. I know you can do this! I’m so proud of you! And post below. I want to hear what you got to share on this topic.
I want to share with you one of the easiest ways that you can automatically change your mind for success. I’m actually not gonna talk about mindset or thinking or anything like that. I want to share with you a tool that, when you use this, gives you direct connection to a clear, conscious mind.
A lot of times, the reason why we get stuck or find challenges is because we’re living too far into the future: What should I do? What could I do? Is this the right choice? Is that the wrong choice? Or we’re contemplating about what we did or did not do in the past: I should have done this. If I could have done that. I would have done. Shoulda, coulda, woulda… and all that stuff. And it gets us in the past, in the future, and it’s like a tug of war, and we don’t go anywhere.
To change your mind for success you first have to come back to the present moment. In the present moment, with a clear mind, grounded in your truth – whatever that it means for you – from that place you can change your thoughts. What you think about is what you create in your world. Thoughts become things. And then when you can align your words, your actions, your energy, and your emotions with those thoughts – now you’re consciously creating! That’s the place you want to create success in your business or any aspect of your life, whether it’s with your spouse, whether it’s with your children and family, relationships, any job you might have. Whatever it is, having that clarity of mind is where is where it all begins.
So here’s a quick tool that you can use if you’re driving in your car, if you’re on a train, if you’re sitting at your desk, working in and struggling with the project, or wherever you might be, going on a walk – people don’t even know you’re doing it – it’s that cool and that easy to grab. And it goes like this: it’s called “the four-seven-eight breath”. And dr. Andrew Weil is the one that really kind of brought this to the fruition. He’s a Harvard medically trained doctor that really focuses on holistic practices.
And this “four-seven-eight breath” is a simple technique. Now it’s based on the ancient Indian approach, and it goes like this: so you just completely exhale, and then you inhale through your nose with a closed mouth for the count of four; you then hold that breath for the count of seven; and then you exhale making that “whoosh” sound for the count of eight. By doing this a few times – it doesn’t take much; maybe two-three times – by doing this (it’s also known as “the relaxing breath”) it relaxes you. You’ll notice that your shoulders melt away from your ears, you actually have space here so that you can breathe properly. A lot of us just have shallow breathing, and we sometimes when we’re at our desk we don’t breathe for extended periods of time. And this only increases our stress.
When we can practice this conscious breathing we can relax our bodies, relax our mind, get us connected to the moment right now, clear our mind and instantly begin to thin new thoughts to co-create for success. That’s what I want for you, so I want to share this tool with you to make sure you’re practicing it on a regular daily basis. Enjoy, and post your comments below for after you do this. What did you notice? What did you feel in your body? What did you notice about your mind? I’d love to hear it comment below and let me know.
If you’re like so many of the coaches I talk to, you’re fired up about helping people. You want, more than anything, to find clients you’ll love working with, so you can guide them through a powerful transformation.
But … you don’t know how to find new leads, or get clients beyond the people you already know.
So, when it comes to finding, attracting, and converting prospects into clients, you’re trapped in a spiral of chaos, flying by the seat of your pants, hoping something will work, so you can do your work!
You just want to coach … to do what you love and help people. I mean, how much would you love it if someone just handed you clients, or if they just magically appeared?
In other words, you’re thinking like a coach.
You’re focusing on the end result: getting and coaching clients. And that’s great! There’s nothing wrong with keeping your eye on the prize—visualizing your big dream and desire.
But, if you’re focusing only on the end result and not on the process—what, specifically, it takes to find, convert, and enroll leads and prospects—then you’re probably struggling to actually get and coach clients … which means you’re not making your biggest impact or turning a profit.
You’ve probably realized that—which is why you’re here.
You may feel a bit like you’re floundering, stumbling, or scrambling … like you’re beating your head against the wall. You’ve heard the saying, “Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results, is the definition of insanity.”
So what if there was a different approach to getting and coaching clients?
There is:
Thinking like a business owner.
When you think like a business owner, you visualize the end result and you also focus on the process of getting there: doing what it takes to find new leads, convert prospects and actually enroll clients.
Instead of chaos, stumbling, or scrambling, you need structure.
(Wait! Hear me out. Structure is not a dirty word! In fact, structure leads to function, which leads to freedom.)
With the right structure—an intentional way to generate awareness and find new leads—you will attract and convert prospects with ruthless efficiency.
Therefore, instead of playing catch-up, trying to tie up loose ends and track down leads, you’ll have more freedom to spend time coaching (or doing whatever else you want to do!).
I’d like to introduce the very same system we use here at The Coaches Console: a structured lead generation funnel (which leads into a structured and effective sales funnel).
Here’s a diagram showing what that lead generation funnel looks like—and how it compares to what you’re likely doing now:
As you can see, in the chaotic approach to lead generation, leads are flying all over the place, going by the wayside becoming missed opportunities because you forget to follow-up—or landing haphazardly in random spots for you to pick up and redirect (which is so time- and energy-consuming).
But in the structured approach, leads are engaged through a series of follow-up messages, provided value along the way, and then funneled directly into conversations with you, followed by a sales funnel, where you can reach out to those people you’d love to work with.
You’ll see, too, that the first step to taking the structured approach is to create a lead magnet. And because I know this can feel a little overwhelming, I’ve included a worksheet below, designed to help you create a great lead magnet that can serve as a powerful foundation for your lead generation structure.
Worksheet
When you answer the following questions, you’ll begin developing the content for you lead magnet, which you’ll then insert at the opening of your structured lead generation funnel.
Think about the people you love working with. What is the top challenge they struggle with? As much as possible, use their words to describe it here.
Note: Your answer to this question will guide you in beginning your lead magnet with copy that illustrates that you understand your ideal prospects’ pain, their struggles, and the challenges they face.
What are some of the mistakes you see people making when they try to solve their top challenge on their own?
Note: Your answer to this question will provide the foundation for you to share the mistakes you see your ideal prospects making as they strive to overcome their challenges. When you mention these in your lead magnet, you’ll establish yourself as an expert, because you are helping them identify what they’re doing wrong.
What simple exercise can you provide to help people stop making the mistakes you’ve described and start moving in the right direction?
Note: Your answer to this question will give people a taste of how you can coach them through their struggles as they strive to transform their lives.
In conclusion …
When you start thinking like a business owner, you can put in place the structure necessary to efficiently attract and convert leads, so you experience a steady stream of ideal clients—and a steady income, too—and make the biggest impact possible as a coach.
Complete the exercise above, and then watch your inbox for another special gift we’ve put together for you … one we believe may be just the “aha!” you need to revolutionize your marketing so you effortlessly attract and engage your prospects.
Hey! This morning I want to share with you this fine line between pushing through or forcing your dreams versus persevering and seeing them through to completion.
You know, as successful entrepreneurs and coaches, as we start our business, this is a line that we ride frequently. A lot of people don’t talk about this. They talk about the end goal, the destination, the dream, the feel-good, but struggle, and setback, and failure – like that is a real thing that we have to deal with and that we experience maybe daily. At least on a regular basis. I know I do in my business. Even after 14, 15, 16 years having my own business it’s still something that happens. And I bet you face it too, so I want to talk about it quickly today to equip you to navigate those frustrations and those struggles that you encounter. Because whenever we set out for a new goal, like starting your own business, or deciding that you set a new revenue goal for your business to take it to the next level, it can be anything, whether it’s your business or not. As soon as we set that goal or state that desire we have stepped out of our comfort zone and we’re evolving into the next iteration of ourself. Rupture must happen, things must fall apart, so that they can be remade again in new ways, so that that goal, that dream, that desire can be a reality. Otherwise it would already exist in your life.
Now rupture doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can be a good thing. Sometimes it’s a bad thing, but it can come in many forms. And what I want to share with you is two mindsets that I really noticed. Tthere seems to be two different worlds that people fall in when stepping out of their comfort zone in pursuing their dreams. This might be true for you, this might be true for your clients. I mean, we’re coaches, right? We’re holding space and helping our clients navigate to reaching their destination and their goals. So your clients might be experiencing this too. But there’s really two mindsets: one approaches the struggle and the setbacks and the failures and the mistakes that happen, and they approach it with this sense of discouragement. Everything seems wrong, nothing seems to be growing right. It’s things are happening to them; it kind of begins to sound like a victimy a role that they’re playing. The other approach is is this the sensation of embracing it, realizing it that it’s a part of the path, accepting it and leveraging it as rocket fuel on your way.
One we kind of dig our heels in with that discouragement. And we’re like “no!” We go kicking and screaming in the direction of our dreams. The other one we expand ourselves and embrace to take the opportunity to learn and grow from those mistakes, from those setbacks, from those struggles. We find new traits in ourself that we didn’t know we were capable of. And those are the very things needed for the dream and the desire and the goal to become a reality.
One of my good friends – we’re in a mastermind together – Victoria, she has this saying called “risk forward”. You can find it on TED talk – it’s an amazing concept. But it’s this idea of risking forward. Another friend of mine, Shelley – she’s also in that same mastermind. We were talking one time and somebody asked her “what’s the question you wish people asked you more?” And she said “I wish they asked me what risk should I take next.” And I loved that perspective! Like that is that perspective of embracing what’s coming up for you, that rupture, those struggles, those setbacks of the funkiness, the messiness of being on your path.
You know, what it really comes down to is expectation. A lot of entrepreneurs, when they first start out, they have this nice, neat little perspective of what their business is going to look like. It’s kind of like this, right? The expectation going in is this straight clean line path; I’m going to start here and up here. Nice and neat. I’m done! The reality is that it usually looks like this, right? You can maybe relate to that. So that’s the reality, and a lot of it comes down to expectation. What’s your expectation going in? Make sure your expectation is in alignment with reality, and that will help you to embrace your journey, to embrace the struggles, to embrace the setbacks, the mistakes, so that you keep learning, so that you keep growing, so that you keep moving forward, one step at a time.
And that’s really the difference between pushing through and forcing. Is that you try to make something happen when it’s not quite ready. Versus persevering, when you allow yourself to meander and saunter and move through that wiggly, funky, messy path, embracing it along the way; discovering your new strengths that you didn’t know you had. So the next time you bump into a challenge or you bump into a setback or a failure – things seem like they’re falling apart all of a sudden – take a deep breath, get grounded in yourself. And it’s important to really know how does that show up in your body, in your mind, in your energy, and your being, so that you can navigate through it. And make sure you give yourself time to get quiet so you can hear yourself, to know the next best step for you.
Good luck on your journey! I’m here to support you. Let me know stories where you’ve had setbacks, where you’ve had rupture, and how you persevered instead of pushing through. It’s a much funner journey that way, even though it’s still messy. Comment below! I can’t wait to hear your journey!
You know, something that I hear all the time from so many different coaches, especially women – this one’s for you today – is about this feeling of being invisible, or this struggle of putting
yourself out there and being seen. Like, it’s a real thing that we deal with. I know, for years I really struggle with struggled with invisibility and it was really hard and it still takes a lot of effort for me to put myself out there and be seen. So if this is something that you struggle with, because you know this can kind of get in a way of getting out there, and growing your mailing list, and building your community, and getting clients, right? So I want to share three things with you that I have been doing over the last eight years to continuously address this urge of invisibility.
The first thing is a Trinity. What I have come to learn as a brag, a gratitude, and a desire. Now, by bragging I don’t mean that arrogant, boastful, rude, put somebody else down so you feel better; not that at. All bragging is simply claiming and owning what is true. When you do something magnificent, whether it’s a little something or great, big something, brag it to another individual. Not just to yourself, but to share it in the presence of others. When you can do this you’re witnessed, you are experienced, and you get to get acknowledged, right? And that acknowledgement allows you to really digest in putting yourself out there in small ways. Starting with one on one, like you and maybe another conscious girlfriend. And then going one too many, maybe you and a circle of girlfriends or a circle of colleagues. and then expanding – right? – to Facebook lives, or being on stage, or presentations, or networking events, or whatever it is. So start small and work your way up. But begin by bragging and celebrating what is. Own the truth of what you’re doing, creating and experiencing.
After brag, give a gratitude. This is like fertilizer in the brag that you have just celebrated. Because what we put our attention on is what we get more of. So bragging is a muscle to exercise to do exactly that. And then, to give a gratitude for what is. One of the reasons that we get invisible is because we get too far into the future, or we live too far into the past, and we’re not in the present moment. And the future and the past is usually filled with a lot of fear or doubt. But when you can give gratitude, it instantly brings you right back into the present moment, to acknowledge what is and again, to exercise that muscle.
And then, once you have acknowledged what is and you give gratitude for it, and add that fertilizer, now you can state desires for what you want. Letting go of the timing, letting go of how it unfolds, just relishing in the desire. So brag, gratitude and desire. Giving a Trinity to exercise that muscle, so you can be witnessed, so you can be experienced and again, start small. One on one, maybe on the phone, maybe over lunch with a girlfriend; then one to a few, maybe in a small circle of close friends, or colleagues; and then one to many.
The other thing that I want to share with you is: be messy. Some of you know by now, I had to give myself the nickname “hot mess”, because back in the day I was a perfectionist. If it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t do it. If it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t put it out there. Now what this meant, it really is just a clever way that we put a lid on ourselves and on our gifts, and we keep ourself playing small. So if you find yourself being that that that villain that comes out – perfect Portia, as we call her – if you’re that perfectionist, know that it’s just you playing small. The world does not need more people playing small. The world needs more people letting their light shine, because as you let your light shine, you unconsciously give others permission to do the same. And your courage just has to be one degree louder than your fear. So give yourself the nickname “hot mess”, be messy and do it badly, because getting it out there, getting it done – way better than perfect!
As you get it out there, there’s three questions to ask yourself: what went right? Celebrate that! What went wrong, what didn’t go so well? Acknowledge that! And then the third question – my favorite: what will I do differently? That “do differently” question allows you to constantly and never-ending improve what you’re doing, what you’re feeling, what you’re experiencing. So be messy and have fun with it!
Oh, my gosh! When I first started doing Facebook lives, they were horrible. They’re still not that great, I still have a lot to learn, and they’re a lot better today than they were months ago. One of these days I’m gonna do like a side-by-side video when I can figure that out. But get it out there. You’ll laugh at yourself, others will laugh at you, and you’ll have fun in the process. But keep going, keep putting yourself out there.
And then, the third thing I want to share with you about being seen: have what I call a “wingwoman” – that conscious colleague, that conscious girlfriend for you, women. Doesn’t have to be a woman – that’s my that’s my term “wing woman”- and have a wing woman. I remember I was at the Lifestyle LIVE! event, and one of the gals there was really struggling with this. She wanted to do Facebook lives so much, but she couldn’t seem to ever do it. I jumped off the stage, went out in the audience, took my phone, we did her first Facebook live. That’s the power of a wingwoman! It gets you out of that stuck spot instantly. And they have your back and know your greatest desires. So, surround yourself with those conscious girlfriends, those conscious colleagues that have your back, so that when your fear takes over, you can borrow theirs.
So those are the three things that I wanted to share with you today about being seen and getting out there, so that you can get your voice out there, you can get your message out there, you can get your gifts out there, and you can get those clients that are ready and waiting to work with you. Don’t be perfect Portia! Get yourself out there, be messy and have fun with it! How do you put yourself out there? I want to hear! Post below!
If you’re like so many of the brilliant, dedicated people who make up our community at The Coaches Console, you’ve probably wondered at some point (and maybe you’re even wondering now!) how to get your first clients.
A few months ago, one such brilliant, dedicated community member, Andy, posted in The Coaching Lifestyle Facebook Group, asking people how they got their first clients.
The conversation that ensued was jaw-dropping!
People responded, and Andy dug deeper, asking more detailed questions.
His determination inspired me, and I reached out to him, asking if we could chat so that I could share some of my best tips for finding clients.
Then, I posted our conversation on Facebook, and the video had more than 9,000 views!!!
I’d like to share that video with you now …
Watch it here:
Whew! Some pretty great stuff in there, right?
The bottom line is that Andy asked that initial question—how did you get your first clients?—and then he pursued information at an even higher level.
That’s the kind of fierce dedication that will lead Andy to success—in fact, he’s already gotten his first client! We’ve been celebrating in our FB group … so much
FUN!
I hope that by watching this video, it also serves as an inspiration for YOU! Just in case you’re not a video person, you’ll find the transcript of our conversation below.
Melinda: Well hello everybody its Melinda here with the Coaches Console. I’m here I’m joined with Andy. It’s so great to meet you Andy and I really appreciate you coming on. You know you started what might be one of our hottest threads in the in the coaching lifestyle Facebook group by one simple question.
I think it was back in November the beginning part of November when you asked it. The question was super simple how’d you get your first client? And my gosh, just da, da, da, da, da and everything that followed from that. And I loved watching people would respond and you are like, yes okay that’s great and now tell me about this.
Okay that’s good information and you were just like digging and digging and digging and like really wrapping your mind around all the valuable information that you are getting from the group. Andy, this is the first time we’ve met. I was just so inspired by your question, your I call it chomp like when you are like I want this, I want to know this information. I love that. I wish all new coaches had that. So tell me about yourself because we’ve never actually met before right now. Tell me about you and your business like what stage is your business in?
Andy: Okay well obviously since I asked that question I’m kind of struggling getting my first clients. I’ve been trying to get into the coaching business for about a year now. It’s kind of a long story, my life was headed in a completely wrong direction and I found out after 33 miserable years that I needed to go full-out entrepreneur.
Melinda: I know that experience as well like you are going down a certain path and all of a sudden you are like oh no that’s not going to work anymore, we are going to have to go a different direction.
Andy: Yeah, I know, right?
Melinda: Yeah. It kind of sucks like in the moment it really sucks and then there’s like this point of exhilaration and then it sucks again and you are like, oh god what have I done?
Andy: I don’t know, I think it’s liberating mostly even though of course the entrepreneurial life has its stresses and all, I prefer it that way. But anyway, having studied self-development galore since 2014, I came I came upon the term of confidence coaching and it just resonated with me because what I found is that confidence is the way I see it the number one common denominator in everything that is related to self development.
There’s always this element of what level of confidence am I on here and there is a strong correlation between successful self development and high confidence. So even though confidence coaching may sound a little vague it makes sense to me and I and I know that it’s a huge up-and-coming niche. When I looked at it about a year ago and I started getting into it, I could find about maybe 10 or 20 confidence coaches by a regular Google search.
Since then not more than eight or nine months later that number had risen to more than 100. I think that would be a good tip-off that that confidence coaching is the way to go. So that’s what I’m trying to get into. I’m kind of kind of finding some ways in, I’ve been working with one beta client, a girl I found in my mastermind group but hey if it works—
Melinda: How did you find her because that was your question you posted in the group? So it was in a mastermind group that you were in.
Andy: Yeah, I’m in a mastermind group and I simply offered some of the other members free coaching because they were struggling with some things that I might be able to help them with. One of them said yes and so I’ve been kind of working with her. So that’s one thing I’ve been doing.
Another thing I’ve been doing is that I’ve been fortunate enough this December to get on a Christmas calendar giveaway in another coaching group so I’ve had the opportunity of giving away free sessions to a number of people, just pretty much anyone who said yes basically. And so I’ve been doing a couple of free sessions there as well.
I’ve only been getting positive feedback so far which only confirms my notions that I’m able to do this and even though I don’t have a certificate yet I’ve been reading enough books and taking enough courses on coaching that I do have the necessary foundation for being able to do it.
Melinda: Yeah. One of the things I noticed when I was looking through the thread because you talked about in your mastermind group in another group they were doing a giveaway and you kind of got involved in that. Some of the other responses that I noticed that were pretty prominent were people doing webinars, people going to networking groups, Facebook groups.
A lot of people are active in Facebook groups and friends and family, the people that are in your closest sphere around you. And that’s just getting out there, talking about what you are doing I mean that’s the first step. And I saw a lot of people saying you know just get out there and start talking about it, just get out there and start talking about it but you were like, how do I find those people to get in front of?
And it just begins. I know when I started my business 15 years ago now, you just start and you get in front of maybe one person or a small group and then something will happen and transpire there and that will lead to this conversation or this introduction or this idea over here.
And then that spawns and now you are over here because of another conversation or an idea. You slowly begin to get in front of different people in different ways. It’s just the consistency, that’s one of the things that I wanted to share with you, I didn’t see that in that thread but consistency is what makes all of the difference.
And that’s what I see a lot of people, they’ll try something one or two times and be like, oh that didn’t work let me throw that out the window. And then they are like okay let’s go try this thing over here, oh look that didn’t work. Most people give up before they give enough consistent action to see results. So I just wanted the opportunity to share that with you that whatever you are finding that resonates with you keep doing it consistently, consistently, consistently.
Andy: Right, right. I think that’s an important point because not everything resonates with everybody so there might be some things where I’m kind of going to go okay I’m not going to do that anymore because that simply doesn’t resonate with me.
And I think when you are starting out like I am you might not have that experience of consistency exactly because you are trying a lot of different things to see what resonates with you. So that consistency might not be there for me right now but you make a good point.
Melinda: It’s what I call the research phase, you are like okay let me try this.
Andy: Exactly, yeah.
Melinda: That’s right. Let me do this a little bit more and you try something else you are like, yeah no, not so much. It’s like a buffet like when you go to a great restaurant that has this amazing buffet. You try something and you are like that’s disgusting, I’m never going to eat that again and you don’t go back there. Marketing is actually the same way.
Now the next person that walks up to the buffet are like, oh my god that’s the best thing I’ve ever ate and you are like, well, interesting. But once you find that thing that resonates with you consistency is what makes a difference. As you locate that thing don’t give up too quickly stay consistent with it. Like when I started what I discovered was I love networking. It lights me up.
It’s how I’m built. It’s not that I taught myself to like it, I just love it. I could not get enough of going to networking groups. I just loved going there, I loved connecting people with resources, I loved connecting with potential people that could give me clients and introduce me to people and I just I love that way of doing business.
It was a good three months of consistent action every week, every day of every week before it became like this big snowball that started spinning crazily. But during those three months it’s like whoa, that’s okay I’m and a lot of people in that window. For some people it’s a few weeks, for some people it’s three months, for some people it might be longer. But a lot of people will give up too quickly and you just keep going just keep going and be persistent and consistent.
Andy: Right. That’s another great point.
Melinda: Yeah. And that’s one of the things you know, I think it was, who was it Sandra what’s her last name? Joan Belle and Sandra got in this interesting dialogue because when you are thinking about how do you find your first client now this is where we have to take off the hat of the coach, right? So you love coaching, you love helping people become confident in whatever area they are in. We have to put on the hat of the business owner.
Andy: Right.
Melinda: Right? And so it’s not only about—and speaking of confidence this is an interesting point, when it comes to marketing, marketing is not only about how do you find the people and then talk about it and then introduce the conversation to enroll them. But it’s also once they say yes what happens after? And I thought that was interesting. I don’t know if you saw that in the thread but they were talking about after you convert somebody what happens next?
Andy: Oh yeah, I remember that now, yeah.
Melinda: And it’s interesting because I’m a systems geek and I love efficiency and effectiveness and process. That’s how I operate. One of the things that I see more times than not with startup coaches like yourself is they don’t pay attention to that. They are like, look I’ve just got to find people to talk to, I’ve got to get a client, I’ll worry about that later.
But here’s what happens and this is the other reason I wanted to hop on Zoom with you is like okay heads-up about this because I don’t want this to happen to you. When they don’t think about when somebody says yes then what’s next, when you don’t think about that or plan for that in advance you have this oh crap moment. You are like, oh shit they said yes right?
And then you are like, I don’t know what to do next. Now you’ve got to go back to the Facebook group like, okay somebody said yes now what do you do? It’s like how do you get them signed up, how do you schedule the first call? And now all these other questions come up.
We know these are there even though we may not pay attention to them and when we don’t have even just a broad idea about what happens after somebody says yes, people dig their heels in on marketing. They slow down their efforts on the front end of things on getting out there, talking with people, being consistent in their action because they are like oh god they might actually say yes and I have no freaking idea what to do.
And we want to look professional because they are going to hire us, they are going to pay us for the services that we provide so we want to present this professionalism. But if we are in this oh crap, I don’t know what to do then there’s this unconscious digging in the heels that really people sabotage their marketing efforts and I see it all of the time.
So you don’t have to know every single answer of every single thing after somebody signs up but you do have to have an idea. So when you are talking with your beta person from your mastermind and they are like oh my gosh, Andy like this is amazing, I think I want you to actually be my coach like for good, like let’s make this a real thing.
Then you just flow, you are like, okay great here’s how it’s going to work and you can just flow right into it. Now that enrollment conversation is a much easier conversation and doesn’t have to be a sales pitch or a hard thing that you are having to sell. It’s just like okay well here’s how this works.
That’s why a lot of people say I don’t like enrollment conversations, I don’t like selling because they haven’t answered what happens after somebody says yes. I wan to throw that out there to you to make sure that while you are still doing your consistent stuff wearing the head of the business owner you are also paying attention on what happens after somebody says yes.
Andy: Right. Well that is a good point. I have been talking to a few people about that so I do have well for example some payment options for international clients and I have been taking some courses for example by Christian Michelson whom you’ve probably heard of.
Melinda: Yeah.
Andy: Okay, yeah I thought so. I’ve done a few of his courses also and he teaches this stuff as you know. So it’s not that I’m exactly clueless as to as to what happens after we enroll them.
Melinda: Awesome. You don’t have to know every single answer to every how do I do this question but you have some idea or else like I said you’ll dig in your heels. Unconsciously you’ll be saying I don’t want to do that because they might say yes.
Andy: Sure, I mean I think it’s one of those areas I think where right now I’m at a stage where it’s not perfect but it’s not supposed to be perfect either at this stage. It will be probably at some point but not right now. That’s not what’s most important right now. What’s important right now is getting those clients and then we can always fine-tune stuff later, you know?
Melinda: Yeah and we call it like in our bootcamp we teach the villains and superpowers so we have this one villain that we teach and her name is Perfect Portia. That’s a lot of entrepreneurs because they think it has to be perfect before they get out there.
Andy: No, no, no.
Melinda: So I admire that you are like, no let’s take this imperfect action, let’s take action, let’s improve, let’s research, take more action, improve and just have this constant never-ending improving instead of perfection, perfection, perfection and then run out of time, energy money and passion before you ever get anywhere.
Andy: Exactly. There’s a good saying that goes like this, it’s not supposed to be art it’s supposed to work. That’s kind of what I try to live by.
Melinda: Yeah and a lot of us, I know I was in this boat and it sounds like you might be too. I was fired from my job. I had a very small window of time where I was like I’ve got to make money people, I got mortgages, I got bills, I got utilities, I got responsibilities so I’ve got a small amount of time to make this work. And like you said it’s not art it’s got to work.
Andy: Exactly.
Melinda: So get out there, research, do it, improve. That’s a beautiful, beautiful approach so kudos to you. That takes a lot of courage to do that. You paved the way beautifully by asking the questions. That’s how it is like let’s ask this out. That was awesome. One of the other things that that I really loved in the in the thread that I just wanted to pull out was who was it, Becky?
Andy: There were so many people participating I don’t remember one from the other, sorry.
Melinda: But there was somebody in there that was talking about how when she’s talking to somebody that might be interested in what she’s up to she cites examples. Whether it’s just a real client that she’s worked with like Susie was struggling with X and then she got this result.
She talked about that or if it’s a general example that conveys an idea. But that right there is one of the powerful then you don’t have to sell anything. When you can have those examples whether they are specific like the two people that you are working with, the one person from your beta, from your mastermind it’s like okay what were the struggles and what’s the transformation when you can articulate that in a very succinct way and you are talking with other people?
It’s like it reminds me of my client da da da. She was doing this and now as a result she’s experiencing XYZ. The more examples you can give, now people don’t have to understand coaching, they don’t have to get it, they don’t have to know how it works. They just have to know that’s my struggle and I want that transformation so you are the guy I should be talking to.
That’s where when you are talking with people, when you are having those sample sessions, when you are having those enrollment conversations, the more that you can share real stories of your own, your clients or other people that you know the less selling you have to do. It’s like I’m just presenting to you, this is real-time information folks and people are like yeah I want that.
Andy: Right. There’s a saying that people don’t buy coaching they buy results.
Melinda: Yeah, we were talking about that. One of the posts that I made somebody else started this thread what are you selling? And I was like, no, you are not selling, remember that thread?
Andy: I remember, yeah.
Melinda: Yeah, I was like I don’t think this is what you were going for but what you are selling is transformation, what you are selling is results. And the more that you can convey that nobody has to understand what coaching is, nobody has to get confused as like oh what sports?
Like none of that ever has to come up. It’s just like here’s the transformation that’s provided and then they get to say yeah I’m ready for that. And you can help them get clear on their commitment. That’s really all an enrollment conversation is it’s like do you really want this transformation, are you committed to it and how clear are you on that commitment?
And when you are ready I’m here for you. That right there that is your enrollment conversation, that’s it. You can bring the right coaching skills to the table and do that so I’m going to put you on the spot like we haven’t rehearsed any of this, I didn’t send you any questions like we are making this up right now.
Andy: Right, go for it.
Melinda: My question for you is what is the transformation you provide? I know you talked a little bit about being a confidence coach that’s the kind of coaching you do. But what really gets you excited?
Andy: What gets me excited?
Melinda: Yeah.
Andy: Well, being an upstart I obviously haven’t worked with a lot of people yet. But what makes me excited is I think and this is something that I hadn’t really thought about before. But when I noticed that I make a difference in people’s lives for the better, when I noticed that there’s a change in their ways of thinking.
They have this kind of aha moment where they go, oh yeah, I hadn’t thought about that before but that makes perfect sense. Being able to provide that for people I know they are providing it for themselves it’s because it’s their own ideas, we are just helping to dig them out. But I think that one point is just when I experienced that the first time I was like oh yeah, this is it baby.
Melinda: When you experienced it the first time what is that oh yeah baby, what’s behind that?
Andy: It only confirmed my idea that that I’m headed in the direction I’m supposed to be heading in. I’m supposed to be doing this definitely. Having tried to get into coaching for so long and not having done any actual coaching, I’ve had my doubts actually but having that happen that was like, okay yeah, boom, that was it. That was like the confirmation that I needed.
Melinda: Let me reframe this, what you just described is—and I’m taking notes so when you see me looking down like I’m actually taking notes.
Andy: Yeah, I was I was thinking that.
Melinda: And so what I just heard you say was that what like just completely lit you up, is the way I describe it, was this confirmation I’m heading in the right direction.
Andy: Exactly.
Melinda: With my life purpose.
Andy: Exactly.
Melinda: Okay, so that’s one little nugget I pulled out. Let me just ask that question again, for you on your journey when you experienced, what else, what other impact did that have on you?
Andy: What other impact it had on me? You mean like in other areas of my life?
Melinda: Sure.
Andy: I think it gave me a sense of calmness and maybe a greater sense of confidence myself, a sense of okay well there’s a doubt there just got eliminated. This means that this will free up some of my energy to pursue other ideas for example do this and that or do X or Y or Z. I think it gave me some excess energy that I hadn’t had before.
Melinda: Yeah and what I heard you not say in that phrasing was greater confidence that I can do this. Is that true?
Andy: Oh yeah. You didn’t hear me say that but definitely that was—
Melinda: Like it was woven in there?
Andy: Sure.
Melinda: Is that real thing for you?
Andy: Oh, definitely, definitely yeah.
Melinda: So one of the things when we are first getting started it’s like we just know we want to do this thing. It excites us, we are like yeah, we have got to do more of this, right? Whenever you are finding your first client or finding—and what you asked was not even how do you find your first client?
But what I noticed in the digging that you were doing by the additional questions it’s like okay that’s great that you found that client but how did you get in front of them to even start talking to them? That’s what we call leads, building your list, growing your list, finding new leads, finding prospects, list building.
All that kind of stuff is what we talk about in the industry and so that’s like the precursor to getting clients. It’s like, okay we’ll figure out how to get clients but how do I get in front of these like who are these people and how do I find them? That’s the list building, that’s the power of having a list.
And it doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be oh I’ve got to have 18000 people on my list. No, you can have five people on your list, you can have 55 people on your list and you just start talking about it. What I love about that is what I noticed people were saying over and over again is you have to know who these people are and where they are hanging out.
And so what I love about what we just went through based on your own experience was the people that you want to talk to are people that want confirmation that they are heading down the right path of their life purpose. They want a greater confidence that they can do their dreams and live their purpose. And you want to find people that want to free up their energy to pursue their ideas and turn them into something. Those three things that’s exactly what you just said, right?
Andy: Right.
Melinda: You are going to have this recording. You can grab that and use it and so as you are out talking to people whether you are at the supermarket, on the sidelines of a sporting game, at some concert, at a festival. Like wherever you go in your life and somebody asks, so Andy what do you do? What I never want you to say ever again is, oh I’m a coach. That’s never your answer.
Andy: Obviously we have to call it that at some point but yeah we could we could postpone that somehow, I guess.
Melinda: When new coaches start out and say, so Andy what are you doing? Oh, I’m a confidence coach, usually you are going to get one of three responses. Oh, that’s nice and then they change the subject or they’ll say, oh my gosh what sport how cool is that?
Or they’ll say nothing and just walk away. That’s the experience, it’s like wow we are setting ourselves up for failure and to have crappy conversations. So rather than answering the question what do I do with who I am and what’s my profession, to answer the question with well I provide transformation for people looking for those three things.
And then you can give an example, for example I’m working with one person right now. She was struggling with this and now she’s experiencing this or my own story, I was struggling with this and now I have this experience and I got boom, boom, boom. That’s how you start talking to people.
Andy: Right. I have a question about that or two, if that’s okay. Do you use that phrase to provide transformation yourself?
Melinda: Yeah.
Andy: Okay and so do you elaborate on that or you don’t need to?
Melinda: You do not need to at all. People don’t care about how, they only care about the results.
Andy: Right, the why is more important than the how of course.
Melinda: We care about the how and so we are seeing this like right now the coach hat just got put back on it’s like but wait I’m a coach that’s the most important part is actually the coaching that’s done and how it works and the way it goes and the transformation.
We care about that because that’s our zone of genius but the people that we are talking to when I say well through my coaching I provide transformation and then I talk about they don’t hear all that. What they hear is the result, result, result. It’s like oh my gosh, my neighbor was just talking about struggling with that thing and so they pick up on that. We hear the other stuff. They don’t hear it like we do.
Andy: Okay, okay well that that makes sense. I just think there might be some cultural differences as well or sub-cultural differences when you talk about these things. I think coaching is a bigger thing in America than it is in certain European countries.
I’m from Denmark for example and it’s not very easy to talk about coaching over here. People still think it’s like kind of a some neo religious woo-woo thing. And so I have an idea that, well I haven’t tried talking to people about providing transformation yet but I think people might react kind of the same.
Melinda: Instead of transformation use the word results.
Andy: Yeah, okay, sure.
Melinda: That is straight to the point. And so if somebody were to say so hey Andy what do you do? The response might be something like, you could even say through my coaching or through the work that I do one-on-one with people the results that they get are these, something like that.
Do you see how that goes? So it’s like you say a little bit about through the work I do one-on-one with people or because people don’t care about coaching you are not selling coaching. And it sucks because it’s our passion and when we can eliminate this from emphasizing in a conversation because what they are interested in are the results.
Andy: To me it’s just a matter of I don’t mind not calling it coaching, it’s a matter of semantics really. And I think what would make me happy is just to know that I’m kind of marketing myself in the best possible way. I think whatever I need to call it would be the nice thing to know.
Melinda: Through work with one on one clients or through my group programs or through my coaching, just a brief mention, the results that my clients get or I help my clients and then talk about the results.
Andy: Right, right. That is so helpful, thank you so much. I have another question about that, if you don’t mind. When I’ve been talking about this confidence coaching stuff some people have given me this objection kind of or a good counterpoint what you might call it but confidence for what?
Melinda: Exactly so this is interesting.
Andy: Yeah, it is.
Melinda: So that’s the other thing. You’ll start to hone in on this so right now if I just take those three things based on your journey because that’s really all we have to go on right now because you haven’t started working with clients. You are still kind of researching where do I want to be here?
So if we just start with your journey confirmation that I’m going in the right direction with my life purpose, greater confidence that I can do this and to free up my energy to pursue my ideas. In that sense greater confidence with my life purpose like that’s where you are starting right now.
That will morph and change and expand. It will kind of move in different directions as you keep researching and evolving. I’m 15 years later and it’s still ever evolving. But for right now that’s what you have to go on. So confident, area of life purpose because that’s what you are like, yeah man let’s do this!
Andy: Yeah, yeah. You make a good point, however one person told me that this sounds a lot like life coaching.
Melinda: So what?
Andy: I don’t remember what I answered that person but I don’t think so what would make for a very professional answer.
Melinda: No, I’m just telling you so what? There are a lot of objections that people have and with something like that to say with the work I do what I want is to teach the life skill of confidence. That’s where I put my emphasis. Because then that skill is transferable while I love working with people on discovering their life purpose it also is transferable to a lot of areas of their life. So you’ll have that in the recording as well.
Andy: Right, I appreciate that, yeah. And it makes perfect sense to me also but I think it’s a matter of me needing to frame it in ways that make sense to other people who don’t necessarily know what I’m talking about.
Melinda: Like right there is the gem of the whole conversation is we know what we are saying that doesn’t matter. When we are talking with somebody what they are running through their head is what’s in it for me and they’ve got to understand it. So we’ve got to be able to articulate in a way that they can understand the value that it could have on them or the people they know, absolutely.
Andy: Boom!
Melinda: Yeah, awesome. So when you are getting out in front of these people you’ve got a lot of ideas from the thread and what you are already discovering about how to find these people and then it’s just you’ve got two or three here and then it leads to two or three more there and ten or twenty here and five or ten there and 50 here.
Consistently it continues to grow and expand and then it’s important to be able to articulate not the coaching but the results, the struggle and the results and being able to communicate that in a way that people understand it. And now it just becomes an invitation are you committed to making this change and getting out of the struggle and getting into these results?
When you are committed I’m your coach and I’m here for you. Then enrollment just becomes powerful coaching which I love when that happens. I wanted to thank you for this, for the thread that you’ve started and for just your persistence in digging and diving. This is such an important topic.
We focus here at the Coaches Console and the Coaching Lifestyle community on the startup and the reason I ask what stage you are in you know a lot of people they are still in their job and they are just dreaming about having their own business. They are dreaming about being an entrepreneur and you are like nope I made that step, here we go.
Andy: A lot of people in the in the Facebook group?
Melinda: Yeah, in the Facebook group. They haven’t left their fulltime job. They want to but they haven’t left yet. Some people have gotten fired like me, some people have left, some people are at the very beginning stages or they’ve been doing this one or two years, a majority of the people in our community is in those kind of areas in their business.
And this is such an important area this is what stops people from leaving those jobs and living into their passion and their purpose and their potential. So I wanted to hop on here and I just want to take a quick moment because we are doing a lot of this, we are going to dive deep into a lot of this at the live event.
I don’t know if you’ve been seeing our posts inside the Facebook group but we are doing a live event. It’s here stateside it’s in the state so it’d be a little bit of travel for you but we are going to be doing it in Atlanta over February. This whole idea of list building or how to like where do you find those people like that whole idea we are going to spend a session talking about that.
So it’s like how do you unpack that, how do you figure that out and get some momentum there? We are going to be talking about enrollment conversations, the four objections that you’ll hear all the time, we are going to be talking about that. We are going to be talking about what to do after and it’s what we call onboarding like bring on a new client.
So we are going to be covering a lot in three days to help people get that momentum and to have the focus for the whole year to come. I just wanted to let you know and all the people listening in to know that what Andy and I have done here we are going to be doing a lot of this at the live event in February.
You’ll see the link below. If you haven’t claimed your ticket you can do that but it’s so important, the questions that you are asking Andy in that thread I mean that’s where it begins. So again I really want to thank you for asking those questions and not giving up. It’s like okay somebody give me an answer, okay that’s good but now I’ve got three more questions.
Andy: You know, thank you because you provide the group and you provided this opportunity for me so I’m very grateful for that. I think I’m just doing whatever I think it takes because I am not giving up I mean this is it, this is what I got to do, right?
Melinda: And that’s a level of commitment so you can even speak to your own clients about this. Whenever I do an enrollment conversation another little thing that I love doing is I love saying on a scale of 1 to 10 how committed are you to making this change in your life?
Andy: Yeah, I do that too.
Melinda: I love scales, I love numbers, I love that kind of thing yeah because it cuts the emotion out and it’s like let’s get really clear real quick.
Andy: Quantification and hard core.
Melinda: Yeah, we are not messing around. And so you just said like you are a10 out of 10, I’m not giving up, I’m going to do whatever it takes. You are going to be so successful I already know that because you are going to do whatever it takes. Thank you for being in the group, thank you for asking the questions, thank you for being persistent and just thank you again for this time. I just thought this would be fun to kind of unpack it a little bit more and hopefully it was it was valuable.
Andy: It was.
Melinda: So if you are listening in to this, this is going to be posted on the Facebook and the Coaching Lifestyle. If you are listening in I’d love for you to post your favorite frames below. It’s one of the things that we do to wrap up. I do this with all my coaching clients at the end of every bootcamp session.
We do with our boot campers every time we have a team meeting it’s like what are your favorite frames. So Andy, I’m going to ask you, I’m putting you on the spot again, what is a favorite frame it doesn’t have to be the favorite frame but what’s a favorite frame, like a nugget or a gym or a takeaway that stood out from our conversation here?
Andy: I got a lot of positive confirmations of things I’ve learned along the way that I think I’m right. I think the latest big thing that I’ve learned that you have confirmed here on this call is that it takes consistent action and that kind of doing it half-assedly is not going to work for anyone.
Of course you’ve got to find out what makes sense to you and what kind of approaches resonates with you. But you’ve got to do some hustling and you got it you got to stick to it and you got to find out. You’ve got to make sure if it really works or it doesn’t. That was definitely a great takeaway for me.
Also the fact that you mentioned that it took you three months of working everyday for every week of three months. Having those really specific things like you just mentioned, really getting specific about it, I kind of loved that because it kind of gives me an idea of what to expect.
When you when you don’t know that you are like, shit, am I going to do this for a week or a year or two or what? So just getting those specifics down that’s invaluable so thank.
Melinda: My pleasure. And for everybody listening in, post your favorite frames below, I’d love to keep this conversation going. Or if you have additional questions from what Andy has shared or stuff that I’ve shared or whatever’s come up for you, post your questions below and we’ll kind of keep this dialogue going because this is where we all learn.
This where we learn together, it’s where we grow together and in this community, this collaboration this is where it happens. Not isolated, not hiding behind our computers but connecting together. So post your favorite frames, post your questions, claim your ticket if you haven’t.
I’m going to see you at the live event. We are going to dive into even more of this here early on in the year so that you feel confident about going through your whole year and getting results and doing the work you love. Andy, thank you again. I appreciate it. I will see you in the Facebook group. Keep us posted on your success and keep asking those question.
